Hipster girl: Well they said her nose was going to fall off or something, so she actually hired this dude to blow the coke up her ass. Like, that was his job.
Hipster guy: I'm jealous.
Hipster girl: I know. I have a new respect for Fleetwood Mac.
–Baluchi's, East Village
Old hipster walking by group of young hipsters, waiting at an apartment door: Oh, look at you all! Didya get all dressed up to come to the city? “Oh look at me, I'm a little hipster, look at me, I'm so pretty! I'm so special and pretty! Look at me! Oh! I'm waiting to get into a hipster party!”
Young hipster #1: Look at you man, you're all by yourself.
Young hipster #2: And you're wearing a fucking cowboy hat.
–1st & 13th
Overheard by: Can't we all just get along?
Hip girl #1: You're just jealous because the water does what I tell it to.
Hip girl #2: Yeah, but that's only because you're huge and paddle-shaped.
Hip girl #1: Hehehehehehe…
Hip girl #2: Stop, your dirty laughter is getting all over my new jacket.
–Arlene's Grocery, Stanton St
Overheard by: sophie and gabby
Gay hipster guy #1: Check him out.
Gay hipster guy #2: Damn, if I was a girl my pussy would be so big. Mm.
Gay hipster guy #1: I just grew a pussy and now its wet.
–F Train
Headline by: nays
Runners-Up:
· “Evolution in Action” – Drew
· “Homosexuals at the Forefront Of Evolution!” – fester60613
· “It’s From the New ADULT Line Of Chia Pets.” – Ch-ch-ch-chia!
· “Jeff Goldbloom: Life Finds a Way.” – space coyote
· “Oh, Just What I Need, Another Fag-Hag. Thanks a LOT, Trevor.” – Rhadamanthus
Hipster girl: And then he didn't wanna have sex anymore, and I got all moody.
Gay guy: I'd be moody too if I had a clitoris.
–50th & 6th Avenue
Hipster chick: What do you do for fun when you're not busy with work?
Hipster dude: Set children on fire.
Hipster chick: They still do that in the city? I thought that died down years ago.
Hipster dude: You have to look hard for a good place, but I know one where you can roast small Aryan children for like $2.50 a pop!
Hipster chick: What a deal!
Hipster dude: I know.
Hipster chick: Man, you know where to get all of the good stuff.
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Oz
Drunk guy to foreign friend: So basically everyone in the US is either Irish, Italian, or German…but there are a lot of Puerto Ricans in my neighborhood.
–L Train
Overheard by: bildita
Rockabilly-styled hipster on cell: Just take your cheap Jewish ass back to Korea Town!
–St. Mark's Place
Tourist: There are so many Chinese in this city and they all speak fucking Spanish! It blows my mind!
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl on cell: So I may be a Siamese twin…
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: evil em
Woman exiting a Subway restaurant: I feel like I just ate a Mexican immigrant.
–56th & 10th Ave
Overheard by: A Mexican
Girl on cell: Wait, so you're telling me this guy has a Mohawk and he doesn't drink?
–Lower East Side
Girl to boyfriend, excitedly: I haven't washed my hair in weeks!
–Waverly & Broadway
Overheard by: MC
Girl to finance boyfriend: No, really, it's okay that you like to gel your hair.
–Outside Tavern on the Green
South Carolina girl: In South Carolina we would call your haircut a mullet, but since you have gel in it, it's called "Long Island hair."
–Hell's Kitchen
Hipster girl on cell: You know your hair is too long when it gets caught in your armpits.
–Central Park
Angry man on cell: That mole! With the hair growing out of it!
–62nd b/w Lexington & 3rd
Overheard by: Laïla
Older woman (after cast runs off naked): I was looking, and I was glad to see that all of the women had hair down there.
–Delacorte Theater, Hair Intermission
Overheard by: Musicn3rd
Hipster girl #1: I'm so hungover, I just want to be hanging out on a roof somewhere drinking a vodka soda.
Hipster girl #2: I don't want a roof, I don't even wanna drink. I want to be laying under the covers with an ice pack on my vagina, sobbing.
–SoHo
Blue-haired hipster: Dude, could you spare some change? I just need a dollar to get somethin' off the dollar menu at McDonald's.
Yuppie: Dude, fuck you! You're not hungry! If you were hungry you wouldn't be dying your hair blue.
–St. Marks & 3rd
