Does It Burn When You Wednesday One-Liner?

Girl playing extreme edition of Would You Rather:Okay: would you rather Joe with a 75% chance of a non-treatable STD or Luke with a 12% chance of pregnancy?

–R Train

Asian girl during Rent intermission: Oh wait, so they all have AIDS? Is that why they're all taking pills all the time? I didn't understand that. But you can't die from AIDS, right? I mean, if you like lived in a bubble forever, you would never die from it, right?

–Nederlander Theater

Man, emphatically: Look, you don't even have to worry about HIV, just take 200 milligrams of Vitamin C.

–89th & Broadway

Hipster girl: Me and my STDs are like Angelina Jolie's kids… Gotta get one from every country!

–Broome St

Overheard by: Kate

Hipster to friend: Thank god AIDS wasn't in Africa yet when I was there, I wouldn't have fucked anybody.

–Classroom, NYU

Young woman on cell: Yeah, I know. (pause) So you don't mind if I have herpes, right?

–71st Rd & Queens Blvd, Forest Hills, Queens

Overheard by: Tara

Posted on October 15, 2008
About Celebrities, Advice, AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Classroom, Compare/Contrast, Death, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Hipsters, Lower Manhattan, Medicine, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queens, Questions, Sex, STDs, Theater, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

And He Wears Members Only Jackets Around the House

Hipster chick: He's not gay, he just wants everyone to think that.
Hipster chick friend: How do you know?
Hipster chick: He'll only suck cock in public.

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Posted on October 11, 2008
BJs, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hipsters, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

The Republicans' New Anti-Immigration Video Is a Little Over the Top

Hipster girl: What's that?
Salvadorian guy: My benefits card, like food stamps. You could get one!
Hipster girl: Really?
Salvadorian guy: You should! We could barbecue non-stop! For free!

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: anyabelisle

Posted on October 6, 2008
Advice, Default, Food, Free stuff!, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Latinos, Questions, Starbucks, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Taste the Rainbow

Teen hipster on cell: You know, light pink is the navy blue of India. It's true! Don't ask me how I know this but I do.

–6th & 51st

Overheard by: simon

Flamboyant nasal-voiced man on cell: I'm feeling blue…like, royal blue…a little lighter…no, not baby blue…like, American flag blue…like…yeah.

–Jamaica LIRR Station

Aussie on cell: There were all these dudes wearing pink shirts…and they weren't even gay!

–55th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: wearing a pink shirt and gay

Girl to friend: So he made carrot salad and I said "Your poop is gonna be orange!"

–The Frying Pan, Chelsea

Latina: Well, she said "It wasn't white! It was yellow!" So I was like, "Well, was it at least shaped like a penis?"

–4th Ave & 40th, Brooklyn

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Food, Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hipsters, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Poop, Queens, Questions, Teens, Train Station, Trains Not Subway

And Help Me Apply This Cream

Girl, screaming: I'm STD free!
Hipster girl: Oh, stop bragging.

–Happy Ending Lounge

Overheard by:

Posted on September 27, 2008
Always Bringing it Back to You!, Bars & Clubs, Default, Girls, Hipsters, Lower Manhattan, Offers and requests, STDs

Pour Some Wednesday One-Liners on Me

Fireman on loudspeaker, as he drives by Magnolia Bakery in fire truck: It's just a cupcake!

–11th & Bleecker

Overheard by: Chris

Disappointed 20-something girl to girlfriends: Yeah, but they don't have chocolate covered penises there.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Brookelyn

Large Italian guy: What happened to my tiramisu? That's what I want to know!

–LIRR to Penn Station

Girl covered in pink frosting on cell: There's frosting all over me!

–170th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Hipster guy on cell: Yeah, so the food was like chocolate and chorizo…mother fucking chocolate and chorizo… No, it was good… You should try it… Why not? Fuck veganism! Some website… Myjambi. M-y-j-a-m-b-i. Why chocolate? How should I know? It's for the website. Yes, the website! I don't know why the dog was there.

–28th & Park

Old woman to overweight woman: You look like you would know the answer to this… Where is a cupcake bakery around here?

–53rd & 3rd

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Firemen, Food, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Italians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, On Cell, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vegetarian & Vegan, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Pop Quiz: Which One's Using “Sandwich” As a Euphemism?

Hipster #1: Every time I sleep with your mom she makes me half a sandwich.
Hipster #2: She makes me a low-fat sandwich.
Hipster #1: A half a sandwich is a low-fat sandwich.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Quarter Sandwhich

Posted on September 23, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Food, Hipsters, Parents, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Words

There Really Are Better Methods of Contraception

Hipster white guy: You got mad abortion issues, yo!
Hipster white chick: Yeah.

–Motor City Bar

Posted on September 15, 2008
Abortion, Bars & Clubs, Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Lower East Side, Weirdness, White People

Waitress: Stupid Gringas

Hipster girl #1 to waitress at Japanese restaurant: Hola. Como estas?
Hipster girl #2: Um, I don't think they speak Spanish.
Hipster girl #1: Well, they sure as hell don't speak English either.

–Zen, St. Mark's & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: amf

Posted on September 13, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Hipsters, Language Barrier, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village

And NASA

Hipster girl: Well they said her nose was going to fall off or something, so she actually hired this dude to blow the coke up her ass. Like, that was his job.
Hipster guy: I'm jealous.
Hipster girl: I know. I have a new respect for Fleetwood Mac.

–Baluchi's, East Village

Posted on September 12, 2008
Ass, Body Parts, Cocaine, Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Music, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village

Hipsters