Wednesday One-Liners Are Famous for Being Famous

Chick: When Derek Jeter sees where my new bug bites are, he’s going to go ballistic.

–McDonald’s, 51st & 3rd

Overheard by: Jack

Enlightened film student to dense film student: Y’know, I can’t wait for you to wake up one day, sit straight up in bed with your eyes open wide and realize that Quentin Tarantino sucks ass!

–Borders

Old guy to wife: God, Matthew McConaughey is a fucking faggot. That guy’s been sucking cock since he was born.

–42nd & Broadway

Newspaper peddler: Read all about it! Britney Spears just died! Read all about it!

–Wall St & Broadway

11-year-old girl, leaning on subway pole: I want to jump on this pole like Tila Tequila! She can put her legs up over her head!

–E train, 50th St

Posted on February 20, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Death, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Insults, Kids, Liars, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Old People, On the Subway, Restaurants & Cafes, Sports, Store, Students, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Happy to Be Warm

Angry woman on cell: I don’t care if you are an ordained fucking minister, you can go straight to fucking hell!

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Overheard by: Last-minute shopper

Crazy lady into microphone: Just because you don’t do drugs or have sex doesn’t mean you’re not going to hell!

–Subway station, 43rd & Broadway, Times Square

Teacher: Let’s go to hell!

–Stuyvesant High

Hobo: Is this the train to hell? It is! Oh my god, you’re all in purgatory!

–A train, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Geneva

Scruffy artist type, to self: I’m not in hell, I’m in New York. I’m not in hell, I’m in New York…

–Elevator, Bellevue Hospital

Overheard by: David

Posted on February 20, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Artists, Assholes, Crazies, Crazy, Drugs, Education, Hobos, Hospitals, Insults, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, Only in New York, Psychology, Religion, School, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Women

Everyone Knows That’s Not Why I’m a Bitch

Bimbette #1: … And so that skinny boy at work — he asked me if my boyfriend was cute.
Bimbette #2: You don’t have a boyfriend, though.
Bimbette #1: I know! And I told him that, and he goes, ‘Oh! So that’s why you’re such a bitch!’
Bimbette #2: What a fag.

–Starbucks, W 4th

Overheard by: Lacy

Posted on February 18, 2008
Bimbettes, Insults, Starbucks

I Agree. How Is That Relevant?

Guy #1: That fucking redhead bitch. I told you, man — those redheads are all the same.
Guy #2: Whoa, dude, I know you’re upset, but racism is not cool.

–57th & Park

Overheard by: rarrw

Posted on February 16, 2008
Default, Gripes, Guys, Hair, Idiots, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity

NewsFlash: New Yorker Has Principles. Film at 11.

Dreadlocked whitey on bike runs red light, almost getting struck by SUV.

Dreadlocked whitey: Hey! You almost hit me! Why don’t you watch where you’re going in that thing?!
Girl in SUV, out window: Jerkoff, you just went through a red light! I should have run you over on principle.

–34th & 3rd

Overheard by: Just trying to cross the street

Posted on February 16, 2008
Accidents, Default, Girls, Gripes, Idiots, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, White People

Two Hours of Me Scratching My Armpits Would Be Better Than Waterworld

Employee #1 sinking dejectedly next to bookshelf: There should be a movie of my life.
Employee #2: That would be the worst movie ever.
Employee #1: Heyyy!

–The Strand

Posted on February 10, 2008
Coworkers, Insults, Movies, Store

Shakespeare Makes Everybody Feel Like That

Girl: Jordan*, are you in the special English class, too?
Jordan: Yeah.
Girl: Why are we in that class? Is it something like an advanced class?
Jordan: No, it’s more like a retard class…

–Times Square

Posted on February 5, 2008
Education, Insults, Retardation, Students, Times Square

… Until His Parents Died

Girl #1: Remember that one guy I dated? He was one of those people that said weird things like, ‘I’m gonna get really rich when my parents die.’
Girl #2: … Is that supposed to impress you?
Girl #3: I dunno, but he was an asshole.

–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St

Overheard by: Hana

Posted on February 4, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Girls, Insults, Rumor Has It

Sir, You’re Bleeding

Woman in large fur coat: What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously! All you do is fucking bitch!
Man in leather coat: Oh, go to hell, Addy.
Woman: You fucking asshole. Do you need a fucking tampon? You want a tampon?! [Searches through purse, finds tampon, and flings it at him.] Here you fucking go!
Man catches passerby staring: What the fuck are you looking at?!

–Chinatown

Overheard by: LizBeth

Posted on February 3, 2008
Assholes, Biotechs, Chinatown, Gripes, Insults, Men, Menstruation, Women

Somebody Got up on the Right Side of the Bed

Teen girl #1: No! I can’t go, because your mom’s a motherfucking whore!
Teen girl #2: Okay, I love you! Bye!

–104th & Broadway

Posted on February 1, 2008
Family Ties, Girls, Insults, Stupidity, Teens, The Village

Insults