Bag lady with a cane: Excuse me, ladies and gentleman! I don't mean to bother you but…
Crazy hobo, interrupting: Then don't! I hate people who say “sorry to bother you.” Just stop bothering me!
Bag lady with a cane: Fuck you!
Crazy hobo: You ain't even really crippled! I sold you that cane!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Sara Swank
Guy smoking with his buddy, disgusted: Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and go, ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe someone is attracted to me’?
–44th & 7th
Overheard by: Michelle
Street vendor, as homely Brazilian chicks pass: You are a disgrace to the country of Brazil! Ugly!
–46th & 6th
Man on cell: Eh, she was kinda lizardy-looking…
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: sean
Smoking street vendor chick to friends: I mean, if you’re going to be ugly, at least be articulate.
–N 6th & Bedford
Girl to another: I mean, I think he is attractive, but it took me a while to think that.
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Cop #1: It smells like bacon.
Cop #2: Sorry.
–W 47th St
Black guy #1 listening to cell: Yo, no nigger should leave a weepy message like that. Nigger is soft.
Black guy #2: Stupid nigger.
–19th & 7th
Overheard by: CG
Drunk lesbian: Straight cheerleader bitches. I love it.
Girl next to her: Did you just call me a straight cheerleader bitch?
Drunk lesbian: I love you. Fuck you, cheerleader.
–Ani DiFranco Concert
Overheard by: alxie
Drunk woman: So I was like, “Why don’t you just off yourself, you fat, miserable fuck?”
Friend: Jesus, Becky*.
–bar, 5th & St. Mark’s, Park Slope
Receptionist: Hi, I'm calling from Bridgehampton, New York and would like to invite to a gallery event we are having in Southampton this weekend.
New York woman: Oh… is that in the Hamptons?
Receptionist: Why, yes, it is.
New York woman: Well… we don't go to that shithole anymore! (hangs up)
Receptionist: Thank you for you time.
–Publication Office
Man to woman, as she stamps on jacket: Hey, yo! My iPod's in there!
Woman, continuing to stamp on jacket: I don't give a fuck!
–8th & Broadway
Crazy Italian man to cashier: Fucking asshole! Where's my fucking money, fucking asshole?! You owe me money! She's German!
Cashier: Who?
Crazy Italian man: The German whore owes me $10,000! You'll be finding her body in the basement! That whore better watch out! I'm Italian and I know mafiosi from here to Beverly Hills! …I'll have a coffee to go…
–Europan Cafe, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: ryan and erin
Girl #1: She's a stupid skanky whore!
Girl #2: Yeah, but she's family.
–Union Square
