Boy 1: Hey, what was that Exodus story about the burning bush? You know, didn’t God give him something?
Boy 2: Yeah, God gave him the holy weed, and he smoked it.
–F train
Overheard by: Fareeda
Boy 1: Hey, what was that Exodus story about the burning bush? You know, didn’t God give him something?
Boy 2: Yeah, God gave him the holy weed, and he smoked it.
–F train
Overheard by: Fareeda
Young man: I think you should have put LIFE and not LIVE on your sign.
Jesus freak, holding sign reading THROUGH JESUS WILL YOU FIND ETERNAL LIVE: Oh, thank you. Have you accepted Jesus as your savior?
Young man: No, I’m a dirty Jew. I’m going to hell.
–42nd & 7th
JAP #1: I hate how he calls himself "Bobby" just to seem more Jewish!
JAP #2: Yeah, why isn’t he comfortable being a Bob?
–Central Park
Sassy woman: No, no, no, no. What I don’t think you understand is, his parents are his mother and a pimp.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: Alex
Drunk girl: I don’t want to be sold for five dollars on the street!
–1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Kira
Record label coordinator: This company needs a hit like a crackwhore on payday.
–150 5th Ave
Addiction expert: I don’t think he’s addicted to porn, but I think he does, like, coke off hookers’ asses.
–6 train, 68th St
Old Jewess: I couldn’t tell if they were singers or prostitutes.
–1 train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Kimdog
Man on cell: So then the hooker walked in with a squeegee. Then I knew it had gone way too far!
–Times Square
Guy: She’s kind of the President of the Prostitute Guild.
–Hughes Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Suit on cell: No, she’s not ugly. She’s just a Jew.
–Water St
B&T shiksa: What is “kreplach”?
Jewish sugar daddy: Kreplach. It’s like wontons.
B&T shiksa: Why don’t they just call it wontons?
–Carnegie Deli, 55th & 7th
Old Jewess on cell: Carla is going to be there, too…You’ve met Carla…You met her the other week. She was the one with the penis.
–77th & 2nd
Overheard by: Joseph
Considerate guy: Hey, man, don’t burst his bubble. If it ain’t a man, it ain’t a man.
–Outside 10th Precinct, W 20th St
Voice on intercom: Sir, that’s the women’s restroom. Sir…Sir…Stop!
–Times Square
Drunk guy: Well, it was either a real ugly woman or a guy with man-boobs.
–F train
Drunk dude to girl: Wow, you’re the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.
–Women’s bathroom, Saloon, 83rd & York
Overheard by: Aaron
Little girl, staring at the Statue of Liberty: Who’s he supposed to be?
–Circle Line
Overheard by: emily
Young guy: …so, technically, I’m lactating. Technically.
–Central Park
Shiksa girl #1: Oh, now I get it!
Shiksa girl #2: Get what?
Shiksa girl #1: Jews for Jesus. See, Jews don’t usually believe in Jesus, but these ones do.
Shiksa girl #2: That totally makes sense. That’s why they’re called “Jews for Jesus”!
Jewish dude: They’re not Jews. They’re Christians.
Shiksa girl #2: But it says “Jews for Jesus”!
Jewish dude: If you believe in Jesus, you aren’t a Jew.
Shiksa girl #1: I don’t get it.
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Lauren Lerner
Shiksa, to Jewish friend wearing a chai necklace: What exactly is your necklace? I’m trying to decide if it’s an elephant or someone bending over.
–Starbucks, Upper West Side
Jewish boy: If I wasn’t Jewish and saw Passion of the Christ, I’d walk out of the theaters screaming, “Let’s kill those Jews for killing our Lord and Savior!”
Black woman: Boy, you shouldn’t be goin’ ’round screaming that.
Jewish boy: Um, but I am Jewish.
Black woman: How am I ‘sposed to know that?
Jewish boy: By the fucking thing on my head and the fact that I keep checking for my wallet every second I’m talking to you.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: David
