Tiny six-year-old son: Why do I look so fat?
Mom: (looks puzzled)
Tiny six-year-old son, pointing at his reflection in elevator doors: Look at me, I look fat!
Mom, smiling, relieved: Oh! No, it's just that reflection is distorted, sweetie.
Tiny six-year-old son: Is that why you looked so fat in those pictures?
Mom (after pause): …yes.
–Elevator, Lexington Ave
Son: Mommy, why does god make these benches so uncomfortable?
Mommy: So you don't fall asleep. Now stop talking.
–Christ and St. Stephen's Church, W 69th St
Overheard by: falling asleep anyway
Six-year-old boy: Daddy, why's BurritoVille closed?
Dad: Because there aren't enough angels in heaven.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: feygele
Four-year old to his father, dreamily: Let's go on the u train! The beautiful u train!
–D Line
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy girl to friend: I hope there's an exit at this station.
–96th St Station
Amiable suit, answering cell: Hi, hon. (pause) Well, I can't talk long–I have to drive this train.
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Little boy: Is this train going to move, or what?
–Transit Museum
Overheard by: Rita
MTA worker in booth, over intercom: Hello everyone. The cost to ride the subway is $2. Only $2. The woman in that blue leather jacket and red hat thinks it's free. If you are standing next to a woman in a blue leather jacket and a red hat, tell her she needs to pay her toll like everyone else.
–6 Train Station
Four-year-old girl: Daddy, why is it called Washington Square Park?
Father: It was named after George Washington.
Four-year-old girl: Wait…but I thought he was bad!
Father: No, that's George Bush.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Emilia
Mom, handing toddler a treat: Now what do you say?
Son: Poopy!
–1 Train
Little black girl staring at poster: What's “sy-nics”?
Old white guy: That's “cynics”. It means people who question everything.
Little black girl: Oh. (to her friend) You're a cynic!
Little black boy: Hey! I am not a cynic! Mom! She called me a cynic!
–V Train
5th grader to friends on stairs: So my brother burned a hole in the floor so we could spy on the neighbors.
–The Spence School
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Hot 20-something: If another mediocre man hits on me after another mediocre meal I am going to burn the city down!
–1 Train
20-something to friend: The house burnt down, and now my dad has no eyebrows. No really, he has no eyebrows.
–Thompkin Square Park
Yuppie guy: You know, I think heartburn is the best kind of burn someone could have.
–Bleecker & Jones
Overheard by: Jas
Five-year-old boy, singing: Let the train, let the train, let the train be on fire!
(continues for a few minutes) Let China, let China, let China be on fire!
–F Train
Subway conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this train is being held due to a…slight fire at the next station.
–C Train
Overheard by: G.
