10-year-old girl in school uniform: Ew! You mean you'd still go through with it?
10-year-old boy in school uniform: Yeah! At least she'd still have a vagina!
–Park Ave & 79th St
10-year-old girl in school uniform: Ew! You mean you'd still go through with it?
10-year-old boy in school uniform: Yeah! At least she'd still have a vagina!
–Park Ave & 79th St
Older gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you didn't need to have passion or talent to be an artist; you just needed to have a van, because no one else was going to haul your shitty art around.
–7th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Miss C
Girl reading sign at Frank Lloyd Wright museum: Oh… He was an architect!
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Antartic
Mom to little girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you'll turn into a statue.
–MoMA
Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she didn't think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I'll go to a fucking museum if I fucking want to. I'll look at some paintings and shit.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark McLaughlin
12-year-old boy, looking at Picasso paintings: This is totally my thing, man, it's like free porn.
–MoMA
Little girl to mother: I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore, when I grow up I wanna be a cat!
–Chelsea
Woman to friend: I mean, he's just so anti-social! He has like 19 cats!
–Lafayette & Prince
Girl to friend: My cat is a flaming homosexual.
–34th & 5th
Girl: And so she says, "let's follow the cat!" So we do, and the cat leads us to a pile of heroin!
–Cafeteria, Barnard College
Four-year-old #1: Ice cream makes your head fall off.
Four-year-old #2: No, it doesn’t.
Four-year-old #1: It was just an expression, asshole.
Four-year-old #2, to his dog: Don’t let him pet you.
–Central Park
Overheard by: amused tourist
Aunt: Do you know what you are being?
Child: Yeah.
Aunt: Does it start with a b?
Child: Maybe.
Aunt: Your father calls me that all the time, you can say it…I give you permission.
Child: No.
Aunt: Is it a female dog?
Child: Yeah.
Aunt: Come, tell me…is it “bitch?”
Child: Yeah, I'm a being a bitch.
–Isabella's, 81st St
Overheard by: Gerald T Reiner Jr.
Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! How many times have I asked you for a brother?
Mother to friend: Yeah, she's been buggin' me about having a boy.
Little girl: Yeah! And we can name him David!
Mother: David? David? Hooooo, girl! Hell no!
–Staten Island Ferry
Five-year-old tourist girl: Daddy, don’t lie to your wife!
–Deli
Overheard by: persephone
Four-year-old girl to sister: You're hitting me with your violin case!
Upper West Side mom: Anne, sometimes you have to endure a little bit of pain on the subway.
–1 Train
Toddler tourist boy, during rainstorm: Mommy, my shoe has a puddle in it.
Slightly older sister: So does everyone's. Deal with it.
–59th St & Broadway
Overheard by: she passes as a local
Conductor: Check around, make sure you have all of your belongings. If you have small children, make sure you hold onto them. (in haunting tone) Wouldn't want to see them disappear…into the gap.
–Metro-North Line
Overheard by: Jess
Train conductor on PA: The last car is the quiet car. No cell phones or loud conversations please. If you need to have a conversation, please do so silently.
–Penn Station
Conductress, in monotone: The next stop on this train will be Grand Street, the last stop in the borough…in the borough….in the borough of Manhattan.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Conductor on PA: The next stop will be 51st Street. All of you lookin' for the local train on the other platform: hey yo! We over here!
–14th Street Station
MTA conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this train will be out of commission, uh…right now. Get out!
–MetroNorth Train
Overheard by: Kellin
Train conductor: Ladies and gentleman, brace for impact. (pause) Nah…just kidding, I could never pull that shit off. Y'all lucky we underground! Have a safe day.
–A Train
