Hipster guy on cell: So you like the kid more than the pussy?
–15th & Washington Sq. W
Overheard by: Joelseph Galasso
Hipster guy on cell: So you like the kid more than the pussy?
–15th & Washington Sq. W
Overheard by: Joelseph Galasso
Hipster chick: I am so glad my ex-boyfriend and I have become friends again. I mean, I know he sued me and everything, but it just feels so good.
–Brooklyn Lyceum
Man: Isn’t “volvo” the medical term for a vagina?
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Tesla
Chick on cell: I woke up the next morning and there was a thong that said “eat me” on it in my bag!
–Warren Hall, Columbia Law School
Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.
–46th & Madison Ave.
Overheard by: Douglas Quade
Blonde on cell: Sometimes I wish I was a Mexican. Like, a Mexican boy. Life would be so much easier. [pause] You know, because they always have a lot of roommates. Like, 15 Mexican boys live together.
–Metro-North from Grand Central to New Haven
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Woman: I’m never going to be in the “in crowd” because the “in crowd” are all molecular biologists and have labs.
–F train
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
Guy on cell: Yeah, is it Mother’s Day or something?…Oh, I think it’s either Mother’s Day or my mom’s birthday, and I wasn’t sure which…Are you sure it’s not Mother’s Day? Because there’s a lot of people walking around Penn Station carrying flowers.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: LiAps
Guy: I’m gonna go over to D’Ag and get some groceries.
Girl: I think it’s closed.
Guy: Ugh! I forgot the whole world is in church today.
Girl: Shut up, you Jew.
–Greenwich Hotel elevator, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Jen C.
Chick on cell: You ate pizza on the first fucking night of Passover? Jesus Christ, you’re a bad Jew!
–Marcy Avenue station
Overheard by: katie, a princess
Mom: I am so thirsty, I really would like a Coke. Only two more days ’til I can get one. Do you think this is how Jesus felt when he was in the desert for 40 days?
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Overheard by: Audrey
Girl on cell: I must’ve gained, like, 10 pounds after the two Passover seders I went to…and I still have Easter dinner to worry about!…What? No, I’m not having a religious identity crisis!
–14th & University
Overheard by: Amelia D
Girl: So what’s with the 40 days of Lent thing?
Guy: Jesus walked the Earth for 40 days after resurrection.
Girl: Oh! So he was like a zombie! That’s so cool!
–118th & Broadway
Overheard by: a catholic
Chick on cell: Dude, let’s go to church before we get fucked up. It’s fuckin’ Easter, you know!
–Fulton & Nassau
Mom: But it’s Easter!
Chick: I’m not religious.
Mom: Yes, you are.
Chick: Plus, I’ve already been to two seders this week: one on Wednesday and one on Thursday. We made latkes, they were really good!
Mom: Yeah, and you also made those potato pancake things.
–Paprika, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: lish
Manager lady on phone: Hi, there…. Oh, I’m just sitting at my desk eating matzoh and turkey, and I’m just bitter. Just very, very bitter. What a stupid holiday! Anyway, how are you?
–Office, 37th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jillynyc
Girl on cell: C-Town doesn’t sell matzoh, I guarantee it. Just fucking rice and beans everywhere…What? You’re not eating bread for the whole week?…Didn’t you just tell me you made a ham?…Oh my god, your mother would fucking have a heart attack.
–Metro-North train
Suit: When you’re 25 and you measure your hourly rate in three digits it takes a hell of a lot of grief to not make it worthwhile.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Gabriel Stempinski
