Woman on cell: It’s just so different from the other South American countries, it’s just — it’s more European. I mean, Alex had blue eyes, you know? Blue eyes! There just weren’t any….what was that word you just said? Say that again?…Yes, there wasn’t any of that.
–M103 bus, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Noah Gallagher
Man whispering into cell phone: I heard that if you inject enough [mumblemumble]into his bloodstream, in a couple of hours, the coroner can’t tell the cause of death!
…Uh huh, uh huh
…I know, baby, I know.
…Yeah, I know. But baby, will you be my alibi?
–F train
Overheard by: catherinecanfly
Hipster guy on cell: So you like the kid more than the pussy?
–15th & Washington Sq. W
Overheard by: Joelseph Galasso
Hipster chick: I am so glad my ex-boyfriend and I have become friends again. I mean, I know he sued me and everything, but it just feels so good.
–Brooklyn Lyceum
Man: Isn’t “volvo” the medical term for a vagina?
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Tesla
Chick on cell: I woke up the next morning and there was a thong that said “eat me” on it in my bag!
–Warren Hall, Columbia Law School
Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.
–46th & Madison Ave.
Overheard by: Douglas Quade
Blonde on cell: Sometimes I wish I was a Mexican. Like, a Mexican boy. Life would be so much easier. [pause] You know, because they always have a lot of roommates. Like, 15 Mexican boys live together.
–Metro-North from Grand Central to New Haven
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Woman: I’m never going to be in the “in crowd” because the “in crowd” are all molecular biologists and have labs.
–F train
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
