Conductor, over intercom: Conductor in the fifth car -are you top or bottom?
[well-built conductor walks through car to intercom to respond]Gay commuter, upon seeing him: Oooh, I hope he’s a bottom.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: MrStench
Conductor, over intercom: Conductor in the fifth car -are you top or bottom?
[well-built conductor walks through car to intercom to respond]Gay commuter, upon seeing him: Oooh, I hope he’s a bottom.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: MrStench
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
Awkward middle-aged man: Hi.
College student: Uh, hi.
Awkward middle-aged man: Sorry I keep staring at you. It's just that you remind me of a mythical creature. Or maybe it's a Muppet.
College student: Oh. Let me guess…Snuffleupagus?
Awkward middle-aged man: Yes, that's it!
–6 Train
Little white girl: Hey, that’s a cool pack.
Little black boy: Thanks! Have you ever taken the D train?
Little white girl: No.
Little black boy: It goes all the way to Africa.
–6 train
Overheard by: Nick Kindelsperger
Teen girl #1: Yeah, so she said she was pregnant and I was just like, THAT SUCKS!
Teen girl #2: Ohh so that’s why she’s taking all that birth control.
Teen girl #1: Yup, I think she’s on like four.
—L train
Guy: So I was talking to my grandfather last night.
Girl: The one who survived Auschwitz?
Guy: No, the one who died there.
–A train
Overheard by: Greg Pierce
Suit on cell: And three girls we know will be there. They're all hideous. But at least they're girls.
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: Heinz
Man in suit: The building is surrounded by outside. Right before you go in and when you come out, you are outside!
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Suit whining on cell: Aw, come on! I wanna be on top this time!
–Flushing
Overheard by: Zee
Suit: The only time I wore socks last year was during my swearing in.
–Maiden & William
Suit: You know, we should probably just send a company-wide email in the morning: "hey guys, we're fucked."
–Wall St
Overheard by: Tamcakes
Ghetto boy: Who’s your favorite killer of all time?
Ghetto girl: Definitely Michael Myers. He’s, like, the most realistic and has the best personality.
–R train
Man: With this many books you are almost certain to make a mistake in your choice.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Jill A.
Guy: So, you don't worship Satan?
Girl: I don't believe in Satan.
Guy: So, you're an atheist?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Starisla
