Crazy guy: You have sign of werewolf!
Outraged bystander: No, you're the werewolf!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Crazy guy: You have sign of werewolf!
Outraged bystander: No, you're the werewolf!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Mom, to little girl: Don’t you ever say ‘bitch’ again, or I will knock all of your teeth out!
–6 train
Dude: If Terri Schiavo’s head was filled with oil Dubya would drill into her skull himself.
–Q train
Overheard by: Mr. Tips
Guy: (says something in Hindi to friend across the aisle)
Crazy guy: Go on over there, son.
Guy: Do you speak Hindi?
Crazy guy: No, I speak French.
Guy: Well, I was speaking Hindi.
Crazy guy: Well, I was speaking Spanish.
–L Train
Super serious, energized young professional #1: So my roommates are totally into mustard.
Super serious, energized young professional #2: Yes. Love it.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Zach
Conductor leaning out window of train pulling into station: Hey, nice hat! I like your hat!
Woman on platform with nice hat: Um, thank you.
Conductor: This is 72nd Street. Uptown 2 train making local stops, local stops. Next stop 79th Street. Nice hat! Niiiice hat!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy #1: This isn't that crowded.
Guy #2: Yeah, the other day I was on a different train and we were packed in like sardines, this lady had her boobs in my face.
Guy #1: Oh, that's nice.
Guy #2: And the best part is her shirt said “stop staring, bitch!”
–7 Train
Overheard by: Beck
Woman suit #1: Yeah, we went to the Colosseo on Friday night.
Woman suit #2: And?
Woman suit #1: I blew him after dinner.
–N train
Overheard by: downfromtheglen
Gangsta girl: I mean, he's just such a loser.
Gangsta boy: Right, yeah.
Gangsta girl: I mean, murder, doing drugs and selling them…that's just so stupid.
–C Train
Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex?
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex.
–1 train
Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her.
–96th St station
Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting?
–Sushi restaurant, Soho
Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with.
–E 61st & Lex
Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin.
–E 23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again.
–Leon M. Goldstein High
Overheard by: Hand-banana
