Guy #1: Shouldn’t you guys be out looking for jobs instead of practicing four part harmonies?
Songbo: Shouldn’t you be sucking his dick?
Guy #2: He does have a point.
–R train
Guy #1: Shouldn’t you guys be out looking for jobs instead of practicing four part harmonies?
Songbo: Shouldn’t you be sucking his dick?
Guy #2: He does have a point.
–R train
Woman #1: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Amy Fisher?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Well, you do. I mean what she did was wrong and all, but she was a beautiful woman, so are you.
–6 train
Suit #1: So, they fired everyone in your department, but they offered you to stick around for two months and help them with the transition period?
Suit #2: Yeah, they said that there was a very good chance they would keep me on a permanent basis if everything went well.
Suit #1: And you said…
Suit #2: I told them to go fuck themselves. I mean, you can’t come into my house, rape my mother, and then expect me to go out drinking with you.
–3 train
Overheard by: J.J. Taveras
Conductor: The man in the yellow hat, please get off the train. We
don’t take passengers at Fordham.
Woman: Isn’t that Curious George’s owner?
–Metro-North
Teen guy: You owe me a buck, I didn’t complain about gettin’ no ass all day.
Teen girl: How about a blowjob instead?
Teen guy: You serious?
Teen girl: Sure…
Teen guy: I bet you wouldn’t be good anyways. It’s a whole dollar.
Teen girl: Well, you missed out…
Teen guy: How about you come to my roof sometime?
Teen girl: Man-whore.
Teen guy: You can’t call me that, I haven’t gotten any ass in months.
Teen girl: Ha, ha. I get more ass than you!
–E train
Overheard by: teenagersarefunny
Woman: So the Olympics are in Italy?
Man: Yeah, Torino.
Woman: Where’s that?
Man: Italy.
–Bryant Park
Girl #1: You should see this guy. He’s like the reincarnation of Gerard Way.
Girl #2: Gerard Way’s not dead.
Girl #1: He’s emo. He’s dead inside.
–E train
Girl: This is not going to happen. My mother taught me respect. I know you understand that. I do not give it out on the train. Not my name, not my number. You understand that.
Dude: Yeah, I hear you. I can respect that. Nothin’ but respect.
She gets off the train.
Dude: Man, I fucked way finer girls than that. I’m sayin’, I could’ve got off the train with her and fucked that bitch.
–4 train
Overheard by: DA
Guy: You should become a lesbian. It seems to be working out for everyone else.
Girl: Yeah, um, I’ll have to pass.
Guy: You’re so shallow.
–A train
Overheard by: drewseph
Guy #1: All I remember is walking into your room and everyone was smoking opium and sitting on the bed that was two feet from the ceiling.
Guy #2: Yeah, and remember Mr. Millard?
Guy #1: Yeah, remember when he died?
Guy #2: Oh my god, yeah, I was so happy, that fucker!
–L train
Overheard by: Mary C.
