Conductor: Local, this is a 7 local. 33rd Street next.
Loudspeaker: Attention Flushing-bound 7 train. You are not a local. You are an express train. Your next stop is 61st-Woodside. Now let the people in and close your doors.
–Queensboro Plaza 7 station
Overheard by: and hearts semicolon
Teen chick: You know, I really like vacuuming.
Teen guy: Ew. That’s gross.
Teen chick: What? That I like to clean? I’m a woman…Isn’t it my job?
–C train
Girl #1: So I was with my boyfriend last night.
Girl #2: So did you guys hook up?
Girl #1: Not really, I just went down on him.
–3 train
Overheard by: Skanero114
Girl #1: So I know some Chinese now.
Girl #2 Really?
Girl #1: Yeah. I learned how to say our phone number from hearing you order food all the time.
–1 train
Overheard by: Karl Sturmgewehr
Girl on cell: Can you hear me when I roll my eyes?
–82nd & York
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Guy #1: Ever notice you can’t fart on these subway seats?
Guy #2: I think it’s the angle; I’ve had that problem before.
–4 train
Overheard by: Mike
Guy #1: Shouldn’t you guys be out looking for jobs instead of practicing four part harmonies?
Songbo: Shouldn’t you be sucking his dick?
Guy #2: He does have a point.
–R train
Woman #1: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Amy Fisher?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Well, you do. I mean what she did was wrong and all, but she was a beautiful woman, so are you.
–6 train
