A fat girl’s belly is pooling over the top of her jeans.
Guy: Hey, check out her muffin tops.
Girl: Dude, those aren’t muffin tops; they’re a whole cake explosion.
–N train
Overheard by: Tina
A fat girl’s belly is pooling over the top of her jeans.
Guy: Hey, check out her muffin tops.
Girl: Dude, those aren’t muffin tops; they’re a whole cake explosion.
–N train
Overheard by: Tina
Girl #1: What’s wrong with you?
Girl #2: I am pissed at my roommate.
Girl #1: Why this time?
Girl #2: He had the nerve to wear my wig on a date again and when I asked him about it, the asshole lied.
Girl #1: How did you know he wore it?
Girl #2: It smelled like beer, cigarettes, and AnalEase again.
–6 train
Overheard by: Casey McKendrick
Guy: It’s so crazy, you know, leaving Manhattan.
Girl: I know, if you would have told me five years ago that I’d be living in Brooklyn I’d have laughed at you.
–L train
Overheard by: Benjamin
Chinese woman #1: Her husband is so cheap!
Chinese woman #2: Yeah, well…
Chinese woman #1: Where do you find someone like that?
Chinese woman #2: He’s a Shanghai-nese.
Chinese woman #1: Oh…Well, you know how those people are.
Translated from the Chinese.
–7 train
Tourist mom: Well, the sticker there next to the door says this is the 2029 train, find that on the map–
NY guy: This is the R train, and that is a bus map.
–R train
Overheard by: Angelo Colucci
Tourist woman: So what do you call this?
Tourist guy: The subway.
Tourist woman: Oh.
–1 train
Overheard by: B. Howard
Tourist mom: So we just wait and the trains come right here?
–1/2/3 34th Street station
Overheard by: Adele
A tourist couple gets on at Times Square. It stops at 72nd next.
Tourist girl: Is this our stop?
Tourist guy: No, they said to take it two stops, we’ve only gone one.
The train continues on to stop at 96th.
Tourist girl: Wait, is this near the stop for Grand Central Station?
–2 train
The train car had no air conditioning so the door between cars was kept open to let in a breeze. A lady steps on the train, stands near the opened door, and then closes it.
Seated lady: We need the air!
Standing lady: It’s not safe.
Seated lady: It’s too hot in here. We kept it open to get some air.
Standing lady: But it’s not safe. I could get sucked out the door.
–2 train
Overheard by: Ebonita
Geek #1: Yeah, like all of his swords are national treasures!
Geek #2: Whoa.
Geek #1: Yeah, in Japan, they’re like in museums and stuff.
Geek #2: Can you buy them?
Geek #1: National treasures! That would be like buying the Declaration of Independence!
–F train
Teen girl: I wonder what Marilyn Monroe does in her spare time.
Teen guy: Lie in her coffin?
–2 train
Hipster girl: Baby what’s that smell? Is that your feet?
Hipster boy: What? I don’t know, probably.
Hipster girl: Oh my god. The smell, I can’t take it.
Hipster boy: It doesn’t smell as bad as the old cooter did the other night when we were screwing. You didn’t hear me say anything when you shoved my face into that crockpot of bacteria.
–F train
Overheard by: Gracelyn
Guy: I’m doing a house in the Hamptons, but I only know one person, this one girl. So I get an e-mail to meet everyone for drinks on Thursday, and I look at the names and it’s girl girl girl, girl girl, Santos, girl girl girl…and I’m like, “OK, am I the only guy in this house?”. And she said there’s a couple other guys coming out for 1 or 2 weekends. So I’m like, “OK, all girls, that’s cool. Are they cute?” and she says, “Yeah, they’re all cute.” So I said, “Well, I’m not matching the first couple weeks, they’ll think I’m gay!” She said, “Yeah don’t match, they’ll think you’re gay.” So I’m not matching. Plus they’re going to see “Santos” and think I’m freakin’…card-carrying…freakin’…off the boat, just swam the…freakin’ Florida canal…from Cuba or something.
–V train
Overheard by: kt
Guy: So you started drinking young?
Girl: I started drinking at 11.
Guy: Wow, really?
Girl: I was smoking at 9.
–F train
Overheard by: Vito Delsante
