Girl: Guys, I saw a doppelganger for Justin Case today!
Guy: Yeah me too, his name is Justin Time.
–Virgin, Union Square
Girl: Guys, I saw a doppelganger for Justin Case today!
Guy: Yeah me too, his name is Justin Time.
–Virgin, Union Square
Jock #1: Mine is five inches!
Jock #2: Hah! I got you beat! Mine is about four inches.
Jock #3: Yeah? Well, I beat both you dudes. Mine is only two inches!
–W 112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Christopher Stone
Girl #1: Oh he’s cute, I really like Arab guys.
Girl #2: He’s Indian.
Girl #1: Whatever, I don’t care.
–112th & Frederick Douglass
Overheard by: leila
Woman #1: You have to thank Brian for these photos for us.
Woman #2: Don’t worry, I’ll just sit on his face.
–Q train
Girl: How old is that guy?
Guy: Who, Bono? 40, 45.
Girl: Oh, and where are they from, England?
–7 train
Overheard by: Jack Kennedy
Guy: …and then we’ll go to Hell’s Kitchen.
Girl: The TV show?
–23rd & 5th
Old lady # 1, crossing the street: Will you help me?
Old lady # 2: Yeah, yeah — I’ll help you.
Old lady # 1: I am very drunk.
Old lady # 2: Yeah, I drank a lot, too.
–78th & York
Overheard by: I hope I’m still getting drunk when I’m that old
Old White man: I have never seen a mother treat a child in such a way.
Latina mother: Dude. You don’t even want to fuck around with a crazy bitch from the Bronx.
–4/5 train
Overheard by: Taryn
Woman: We’ll have the perfectly peanut butter sundae.
Store girl: Okay, sure.
Man: Come on, you know I fucking hate the taste of peanut butter!
Woman: Are you kidding me? I ate your jizz just a couple of hours ago, I think you eating the ice cream I want would be a decent fucking compromise!
Store girl: …Um…Yeah, so…I’m taking that as extra peanut butter.
–Dylan’s Candy Bar, 3rd Avenue
Very large man, pointing at a McDonald’s: Where were you last night at 3 a.m. when I was craving you?
–49th & 9th
Man wearing an “I Heart My Heart” shirt, to guy eating fast food: You’re just aching for that heart attack, aren’t you?
–46th & Broadway
Angry burger flipper: Making Big Macs is complex. It’s 2 all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun…And then it gets even more confusing, ’cause people all have their special requests, like no special sauce. And that just throws shit off. The Whopper is so easy. It don’t have shit on us.
–M11 bus
Asian girl, screaming into cell: I said, “Quiero Taco Bell!”
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelsey
Foreign tourist to cabbie: How much to go to K…F…C?
–Broadway between 38th & 39th
Overheard by: Gregorio
