Black girl #1, after watching Eliot Spitzer’s apology: Did you see the wife? She was just standin’ there!
Black girl #2: That’s cause she’s not black. If that was me, I’da took off my ring and throwed it at his head.
Black girl #1: Mmmhmm. If she was black, she’d a keeped it real.
–Edward R. Murrow High School
Suit #1: We need to come here more often and find some whores.
Suit #2: Yeah, whores are everywhere around here.
Suit #1: You always have to pay for whores with cash, it's when you use a credit card that they catch you.
–Marriot on Broadway
Little gangster kid: Yo, the last time I went fishing I got a fishing lure stuck in my dick.
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Hobo: Everybody’s somebody on my dick!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Girl, to male co-worker: Can you be a little more subtle and not such a dick-swinger about your Amstel Light?
–Conde Nast Bldg, 57th & 8th
Overheard by: Kenzi
Woman: At least I don’t suck dicks for free!
–Broadway and Putnam, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tommi
Drunk college student: My redeeming factor is I will suck fucking dick to make money.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: dank
Guy on cell: Take it like a bowl of dicks.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Johnny Bonsanto
Fat guy: So I asked her, and she gave me her number, and then it was disconnected. So I went back the next week, and she wasn’t working there anymore. So I wondered, did she quit her job just to avoid sucking my dick?
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: Caroline
Teenage boy #1: So, would you say she's a ho?
Teenage boy #2: No, I wouldn't say she's a ho, she just likes to fuck a lot.
–R Train
Girl #1: Yeah, but the more time I spent in New York, the more I realized it's just full of hustlers.
Girl #2, extremely emphatic: Oh, yeah! Everyone I know in New York is a hustler! (long contemplative pause)
Girl #2: 'cept my cousin.
–Jet Blue Plane Taking Off, JFK
Cokehead: Hey buddy, you got a cigarette?
Brit tourist: Yeah, man. Here.
Cokehead: Hey, smell my face.
Brit tourist: Why?
Cokehead: Just smell it, go on! (sticks chin out and pushes face to Brit’s nose)
Brit tourist: No way man, why?
Coke head: Please.
(Brit tourist smells his face)
Brit tourist: What is that?
Cokehead: That’s the smell of a thousand-dollar hooker’s pussy.
–42nd & 3rd
Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Overheard by: Ashley
Loud woman on cell: I suck your dick and we can't be Facebook friends?
–20th St & 6th Ave
Guy to buddies in the passing Skyfari car: Yo, that building over there… That's the building where I got that $5 blowjob.
–Skyfari, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Stefan Yonker
Young man, dismissively: I could fucking suck cocks for a living, it doesn't matter!
–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave
Middle schooler, wrestling in Aids memorial: Ooops, I sucked your dick!
–Hudson River Park
Overheard by: Nina & Phil
Middle-school girl to mother: My e-mail password is "blowjob".
–L Train
Guy to friends: Guys. I need an attractive blonde, about this tall, from about 11:30 to 12:30 tonight. Know where I can find one?
(silence)
Guy: It's for a film!
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: queenofscots
Black woman #1, to black woman #2: That’s a real cute phone for a nigger without a job.
–Sprint Store
Overheard by: wigger with a job
Guy: I dunno, if I had that much money, I’d spend it on something else. Like pants made of diamonds…Or hookers made of gold.
–Lafayette & Bond
Overheard by: jayloo
Hobo, to baby in stroller: You’re a fucking moron, kid, wasting all your money on that shit!
–Central Park
Overheard by: PeggyG.
