Queer #1: Well, it’s because they have an open relationship and it seems that Dan is the only one who takes advantage of the openness a lot.
Queer #2: So is it love, because there’s mutually acceptable whoring? It could be love, you know. There’s consensus.
–L train
Queer: So I hit my head on the locker door at the gym, and I think I damaged my cervical cortex.
Chick: I fucking hate you.
–Lispenard St
Overheard by: fat dragon
Headline by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Runners-Up:
· “He’s Fucked In the Head” – John
· “I Knew You Cheated Off me on the Anatomy Exam!” – kyla
· “I Also Bruised my Temporal Labia” – Justin
· “It’s Like Childbirth Every Time I Think” – alaina
· “It’s Near the Mangina” – chris
· “Katie Holmes Finally Wakes Up” – Andy Adelewitz
· “Now I Have Two Cunts Giving me a Headache.” – rather decline
· “Oddly Enough, All He Hears Is ‘You’re Fabulous'” – Alexandria Symonds
· “She Failed Her ‘Bedside Manner’ Class in Med School” – AL
· “Since You got Word-of-the-Day Toilet Paper, Things Haven’t Been the Same” – Cheeky Brit
· “So, He Looks Great, Has a Gym Membership AND a Cervix. No Wonder She Can’t Get a Date.” – Mel Mouse
· “What Mr. and Mrs. Bush Say Behind Closed Doors” – Marissa
Four-year-old girl to nanny: No, princesses don't get tickled. They just dance and get married.
–North Williamsburg
Overheard by: anti-feminist
White girl in hoodie: If I see any of the other girls there want to dance with you they'd better watch out, 'cause it's stab-a-slut Sunday.
–J Train
Short guy with greasy hair: Yo, this girl was like, "wanna dance?" and I was like "okay," so she started dancing mad good. She was grinding up against me with her ass.
–3rd Ave & 71st, Brooklyn
Gay guy on cell in long line during Circuit City closeout: Does it have speakers? Because I like to dance in my room, and I like to feel the music. It's really cold, so I like to dance in my room, you know?
–Circuit City, Union Square
Drunk girl to Guido she knocked heads with while dancing: I'm a drinker, not a dancer!
–Hook & Ladder Pub, Murray Hill
Overheard by: also a drinker
Professor: I'm of the personal opinion that anything counts for art. Take, for example, Nelly's "Hot in Here." We have an admonition of certain weather conditions and an entreaty for certain members of a demographic to react within a certain way, and a compliant voice replies, "I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off." This piece of art demonstrates how much easier life would be if getting a woman naked was that easy. And also, it makes me dance, and as we know, hips don't lie.
–NYU Bobst Library
Overheard by: queenofscots
Gay man: I deserved it.
Hobo, jumping into the conversation: I deserve two dollars!
–East Village
Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…
(two girls walk by, dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell)
Gay boy: Aww, she's so cute, that little fairy!
Flaming gay boy: (gives gay boy a look)
Gay boy: What?
Flaming gay boy: Fairies have bods. All fairies.
Gay boy (laughing): She wasn't that big.
Flaming gay boy: Bitch, fairies do not have rolls!
–LIRR
Spunky gay boy: It’s not like I go into the bathroom to nap… But when you’re pooping it’s just, you know, relaxing, and when I start to read on the pot I’m like Pavlov’s dog and I get sleepy!
Skeptical fag hag: That’s no excuse for falling asleep naked on my toilet bowl.
Spunky gay boy: Right.
–C train, Hoyt-Schermerhorn St
Headline by: Gold StaR
Runners-Up:
· “But Thanks For The Highest Rated Youtube Hidden Cam Video.” – Veronica
· “I’m Surprised You Can Do It Away from the Home…I Thought Your People Were Like Cats.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “Pavlov’s Log” – Brian G
· “Ring, Ring. Plop, Plop” – Chris
· “The Roofies I Gave You, Now THAT’s an Excuse.” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Then Whats Your Excuse for Doing It on Mine?” – Lezbotron
Queer #1: Kiss me. [Kisses queer #2.] Do I taste like it?
Queer #2: I don’t know what coke tastes like. Oh. Sorry, that was pretty loud.
–33rd & 7th
Queer: You know what I completely forgot people worry about? Getting pregnant.
–The Slide, Bowery
Overheard by: professional hag
Queer: You’ve got pretty natural eyebrows, sweetheart.
Asian girl: Thanks, but yours look sooo fake.
–L train
