Behind the Scenes With Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on cell: I just don't know what my problem is. I keep getting fucked in the ass, and I just can't figure out why!

–54th b/w Madison & 5th

Overheard by: Pedro

Gay guy to boyfriend (angrily): Well, fine–you can fuck your own ass then.

–W Train

Overheard by: Bethany

Female suit on cell: That's the last time I tell him he can put it anywhere…I haven't been able to sit right all day.

–54th & 5th

Overheard by: GP

Hipster girl to friend: These short-haired girls are starting to piss me off. The only reason why they get all the artsy guys is 'cause they look like fellow fags and aren't prissy about taking it up the butt.

–6 Train

Overheard by: lauren

Girl on cell: He wanted to do it in the butt… No, his butt.

–37th & 7th

Serious woman to friends: Yeah, my students are telling me that the newest thing is butt sex.

–116th & Broadway

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Backdoor, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

You Should Take That As a Sign to Fuck Me

Fashionista queer: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette?
Rocker queer: Sorry, I don't smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It's bad for you!
Fashionista queer: Who cares, I'm skinny!

–Cafeteria, 17th & 7th

Overheard by: Nellee

Posted on February 6, 2015
Advice, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Diet/Weight, Fashionistas, Health and Hygiene, Offers and requests, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Skinny People, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking

We Told Her Parents She’s Just Fiscally Conservative, to Soften the Blow

Woman: Whatever happened to Kirsten*?
Gay man: Oh, she’s a Republican…

–8th & Mercer

Overheard by: Sophia Emily

Posted on February 6, 2015
Default, Politics, Queer guys, Questions, The Village, Women

I’m Enjoying the Sodomy, Though

Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.

–7A Cafe, East Village

Posted on February 5, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Manhattan, Music, People, Places, Queer guys, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

Chosen for What, Is the Question

Teen girl #1: Yeah, so being Jewish is worlds of fun. We are better than everyone else.
Teen girl #2: I want to be Jewish!
Mom of girl #1: Sorry, honey, we are the chosen people.
Queer passerby: Not with that nose, honey.

–19th & 5th

Posted on February 4, 2015
Body Parts, Jews, Judaism, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Queer guys, Teens

Just Preparing Myself for the Inevitability

Gay guy #1: I would go crazy if my mom died, I would be on Vicodin.
Gay guy #2: You are on Vicodin.
Gay guy #1: I know.

–D Train

Posted on February 3, 2015
Death, Family Ties, Medicine, On the Subway, Parents, Queer guys

If This Disturbs You, You're Too Fragile for This Town.

Naive heterosexual friend: So when did you know you were gay?
Flamboyant homosexual friend: When I was sucking my daddy's dick while he was fucking my mom.
Naive heterosexual friend: Wow. Just… wow.

–SoHo

Posted on February 2, 2015
BJs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Incest, Parents, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Soho

Though Yesterday I Did Say, “I Love Your New Prada Loafers.”

Trendy homo: Last Tuesday was so much fun!
Boy toy: Last Tuesday is when I broke up with you.
Trendy homo: Yea, but nothing has really changed. I just don't have to say “I love you” anymore when we're having sex.

–56th & 9th

Posted on February 1, 2015
Boys, Breaking Up, Compare/Contrast, Default, Queer guys, Relationships, Sex, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Graduate Magna Cum Laude

Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Harmony Davis

Older queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to have this record! It's so good! It makes me orgasm!

–W 72nd S, Record Store

Overheard by: Never achieved an orgasm that way…

Punk kid to two friends: I want to pierce my shaft and put different things in it so I can give girls better orgasms.

–West Village

Overheard by: Andy & Nick

Man on pay phone: I want to come all over your cock.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: sofia

Drunk chick, loudly as the bar goes silent: I could make you come with one finger!

–Bar, Fulton St

Overheard by: Izzy

Posted on January 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Couples, Cum, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Orgasm, Parks, Penis, Punks, Queer guys, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

Armani's New Overall Line Has Left Everyone Confused

Queer: I need to cut my fingernails. I keep meaning to get clippers, but then I forget.
Girl assistant: Why don't you just bite them?
Queer (offended): I am not a farmer!

–Queens

Overheard by: Jodi

Posted on January 28, 2015
Advice, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Queens, Queer guys, Questions

Queer guys