College girl #1, about old lady talking angrily behind her: Who do you think she's yelling at? Don't look, I think you should guess. Don't look!
College girl #2: No, I'm going to look. Yeah, she's not talking to anyone. No phone.
College girl #1: Oh.
(they both turn around to stare at her and continue walking)
College girl #1: Well, she's probably Italian.
–27th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lynne
Cop: Come on, let's go. Where did you go to the bathroom?
Hobo: On the stairsss!
–59th St & Lexington Subway Station
Dressing room attendant #1: So, you gonna sleep with him?
Dressing room attendant #2: Naw, I ain't gonna sleep with him! I ain't that easy, I ain't no fish!
–The Gap
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl #1: Yeah, and when I opened the drawer it had a dildo, I swear!
Girl #2: Is that a Pokemon or a game?
–Bryant Park
Flyer guy: Smile, you're on Broadway! (singing) You're never fully dressed…when you're naked! (stops singing) So come to New York's best improvisational comedy club! Be there, or be someplace else!
–Times Square
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Annoying man outside comedy club, to passerby: Do you like stand-up comedy? (passerby ignores him keeps walking) Do you like free alcohol? (passerby keeps walking) Do you like ignoring me? (passerby turns head and nods)
–Broadway
Overheard by: Wojo
Comedy show ticket salesman to couple: So, what are you two doing tonight…besides each other?
–Broadway & 49th St
Overheard by: Theo
Ticket guy to walking couple: Do you like comedy or do you just do each other? Maybe that's all you need.
–51st & 8th
Overheard by: PartyByNight
Street vendor: Want to see a comedy show for $10? Free drinks! Cheaper than crack cocaine!
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: gradstudent
Comedy club flyer guy: Blah, blah, blah, take my flyer!
–Times Square
Overheard by: No flyer, but props for the delivery
Hipster guy: Did we sleep in ’till 1 pm today? Or was that yesterday?
Hipster girl: No, that was yesterday. We slept in ’till ten today.
Hipster guy: What’s wrong with us? Do we have aids?
–Williamsburg
Female tourist to friend: Oh my god, do we really get to take the subway? Gosh, you have to take a picture of me with the subway! C'mon, take the picture!
Man, overhearing: Oh my god, let's push you down the stairs and see how much you like the subway.
–Rockafeller Center Subway
Overheard by: Kirby
Headline by: Ryan
Runners-Up:
· “A *Real* New Yorker Would’ve Just Pushed Her” – Thaniel
· “Give a Tourist a Pin and She’ll Remember NY for a Week, Push Her Down the Stairs, and She’ll Remember It for the Rest Of Her Life” – Prole
· “How Tourist-Tossing Got Started” – Barry
· “It Would Save Her That Stop at Planned Parenthood” – niqua
· “Throw in a Rape and Mugging and You’ll Get the Full Subway Experience” – Forensic Photographer
· “Why Is It Called “Tourist Season” If We Can´t Kill Them?” – Fresca P.
Tattooed young mother: So when we get home we could take pictures of the cat.
Four-year old: We could take pictures of the cat's penis, you told me cats have penises!
Tattooed young mother (hushing child): Why are you so fascinated by that?
Four-year old: I like penises!
Tattooed young mother: Don't say that, you can't say things like that!
–F Train
Overheard by: wow.
Girl #1: I wonder where Austria is.
Girl #2: It must be by Australia, because they sound the same.
–Bus
Overheard by: David
Four-year-old boy: Daddy, why is there no express service today?
Father: Because the government invests all their money in war and killing people and doesn't wanna invest in public transportation!
Four-year-old boy: Oh. That's so unfair!
–6 Train
