Girl #1: What kind of proof did you offer when you said that?
Girl #2: I don’t NEED proof, I say it, it comes out of my mouth, that makes it REAL!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Allison
Girl #1: What kind of proof did you offer when you said that?
Girl #2: I don’t NEED proof, I say it, it comes out of my mouth, that makes it REAL!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Allison
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
Elderly white woman #1, sitting in booth: Where you get your money? Sticky bitch!
Elderly white woman #2, walking away with walker: Heh, heh, heh.
Elderly white woman #1: Sticky bitch.
–McDonald's, Brooklyn
Son: Dad, can we buy Popsicles?
Dad: Why don’t we make our own at home?
Son: Yay! I want to make seltzer flavor!
Dad, sighing: Well, that would just be an ice cube.
–C-Town, Park Slope
Overheard by: Hiland
Pissed off gay guy on phone: What should you have said? Oh, I don’t know, maybe "Hi, I’m Michael, I have syphilis!"
–13th & Broadway
Guy: That’d be a great gig, but I don’t know if you want to be the face of venereal disease.
–Cafe Esperanto
Woman coming off train: Get away from me! You got AIDS on yo’ dick!
–R Train
Overheard by: going to the clinic
Chick: As long as it’s not AIDS it’s okay. I’m vaccinated against everything except AIDS.
–Columbia University
20-something male talking to friend: You know the way I see it: AIDS will kill you, herpes is just an inconvenience…
–34th between 2nd and 3rd
Overheard by: LadyEDdy
Columbia student, on her public health exam: I just didn’t know where to put the gonorrhea! It had to go somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out where!
–School of Public Heatlh, Columbia University
Loud guy: So he gave her a venereal disease. That’s not a reason to marry her!
–Blue Hill Restaurant
Girl: Aaron! Hi!
Guy: Hey! Are you going to the thing?
Girl: Yeah, the thing!
(guy starts walking away)
Girl: Wait, Aaron! Hold up!
Guy: What?
Girl: Did you see that puppy?
Guy: Yeah, I pointed at it and laughed at it a few times.
–Cooper Square
Girl: Sorry, my friends are waiting for me.
Guy: What? You don't like nice Jewish boys with trust funds?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: A
Old Italian cop to Jamaican dude he just pulled over: Sir, have you been drinking tonight?
Jamaican dude: Me love you lately.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Only in Brooklyn
Teen girl: What time does TRL tape?
Street vendor: What time do you watch it?
Teen girl: 4 o’clock.
Street vendor: What does the L stand for?
–Times Square
Overheard by: mark manne
