Black chick #1: How mad was she?
Black chick #2: She's as mad as if she was just let out of slavery yesterday.
–Aveda Salon, Upper West Side
Black chick #1: How mad was she?
Black chick #2: She's as mad as if she was just let out of slavery yesterday.
–Aveda Salon, Upper West Side
Girl #1: So how is every thing?
Girl #2: Good, I talked to James… He’s dying.
Girl #1: Ah, I see.
Girl #2: Yeah, so things are great! (nods repeatedly)
–Exiting City Hall Station
Guy #1: I don't know what happened! She bought me a drink and then all of a sudden her friend tells me off!
Guy #2: What did you say?
Guy #1: Well I kinda told her she was socially inept.
Guy #2: Did you actually say that?
Guy #1: No, I said she was retarded.
–32nd & 5th
Overheard by: Amused
Customer, after studying menu: Do you have turkey sandwiches?
Cashier: We're a Turkish restaurant, not turkey restaurant. We have lamb. (pointing towards large spinning leg on spit)
Customer: That's not turkey. (walks away)
–Bereket Turkish Restaurant
Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that??
–Simon Baruch Middle School
Overheard by: the art major
Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children.
–Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Maianess
20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup
Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid.
–Grand Central Station
Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: inching away
Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile!
–Wagner College
Overheard by: good to know
Suit: (bangs on information glass repeatedly)
Clerk, playing with his iPod: How may I help you?
Suit: Can I exchange my expired MetroCard?
Clerk: See the sign says “information only”? Go across the street.
Suit: So what are you here for? To play with your iPod?
Clerk: I deserve my job.
–R Train
Overheard by: Danchik
Teen girl #1: I have to write an expository essay on something that has impacted my life.
Teen girl #2: Has anyone in your family ever died?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, but no one, like, close to me.
Teen girl #2: Do you have any, like, retards in your family?
Teen girl #1: No, but I did meet a retard one time… He was, like, really retarded, too. Maybe I’ll write about that…
–F train
Drunk hobo boarding train: Hey, is this uptown or downtown?
Girl: It’s the…
Drunk hobo: Fuck it! Lets go!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tiffany
(little boy has a Hot Wheels car and he's rolling it all over everything around him)
Boy: Mom, can I roll it on your head?
Mom: No, you'll mess up my hair.
Boy: Your arms?
Mom: Yeah, sure.
Boy: Your chest?
Mom: No, that's not appropriate.
Boy: Okay…your nipples?
Mom: That's definitely not appropriate.
Boy (disappointed): Aaww…
–6 Train
Overheard by: 1-800-mattres
Middle aged woman #1: Did you know turtles only use their penises for mating, not peeing?
Middle aged woman #2: Oh, really? Cool!
–Lexington Ave
