Questions

Wednesday Slowly Dropped Her One-Liners to the Floor

Tattooed guy on cell: I want a human pyramid. I want a naked human pyramid.

–Veniero's Pastry Shop

Young lady: Yes, but it's not like I go riding around the city naked on a horse…

–57th St

Dude on cell: Shut up! I will sit on your face… without drawers.

–14th & 6th

Young thug to friend: She said she went up in there, and everybody in the crib was naked, everybody. Buck-ass naked.

–Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: rick

Three-year-old boy, looking at unclothed figures at African people exhibit: Daddy? Did they take off their diapers?

–American Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Freaked the kid out after laughing at his commment

…So, Wanna Fuck?

Boy: Yeah, I'm just really bad at putting big things into little things.
Girl: Oh… Was that supposed to be sexual?
Boy: Nah. If it was sexual I would have ended it with “bowchickabowwow” or something.

–1 Train

…Because If We Can't Have Reparations, This Is a Nice Consolation Prize.

Woman selling cupcakes on street: 'Scuse me, you wanna buy one? Only a dollar.
Man: No, thank you.
Woman: Is it cause we black? And you white?

–Columbus Ave & 100th St

Then Clearly You've Never Tried Internet Dating.

Old woman: Are you anti-Hitler and his policies?
Old man: I don't think I know anyone who isn't.

–Columbus Circle

If “Who's on First?” Had Been Written by Stoners

Man #1: Who asked you?
Man #2: The executive.
Man #1: The executive?
Man #2: The executive.
Man #1: The executive of what?
Man #2: Of what?
Man #1: Yes.
Man #2: Of Batman.

–Manhattan

We Unite in a Common Purpose Of Self-Destruction

Guy: So you smoke for social reasons? I don't get it.
Girl: You know, I do it so that I can go out and talk to others. I only do it when I'm wanting to spend time with people.
Guy: I still don't get it.
Girl: It's just what I do when I want to spend some time with my friends.
Guy: Oh, so like how cocaine is for me?
Girl: Yeah! Kind of like that.

–1 Train

You Can't Handle the Wednesday One-Liner!

Girls on bench: Is US weekly magazine, like, the only one that's true?

–Central Park

Man on cell, crossing street: And I told that Jewish cunt that everything she's heard about black men is true, and I'm gonna stick my foot in her fucking mouth.

–46th St & Madison Ave

Bum conversing with Bible-toting teens: Yes, it's in the Bible… But is it true?

–Union Square

Skater boy: Most things aren't true.

–72nd St & Amsterdam

Women Say They Want You to Be Open About Your Feelings, but They Don't Mean It.

Gutter punk girl with big suitcase, screaming: Why can't you just be my boyfriend and care about me?
Gutter punk boy with big suitcase and bike, calmly: Because you're fucking retarded.

–Delancy & Forsythe

Overheard by: AnnieUp

Don't Even Get Her Started on Snookie.

Older woman: I'll go over to the Arab across the street and borrow his machete.
Chubby brunette teenager: Grandma, he's not a Sikh… And he's not Arab. He's Bangladeshi.
Older woman: So they say. Who knows what any of them are?

–Central Park

That's Just New York in the Morning, Honey

Little girl: It smells here.
Father: Oh, like what?
Little girl: Like… Coffee… and… the zoo.

–Starbucks

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