Little girl #1: Do you have a boyfriend?
Little girl #2: Yes, and I hate him.
–Starr St.
Overheard by: Asizzle
Little girl #1: Do you have a boyfriend?
Little girl #2: Yes, and I hate him.
–Starr St.
Overheard by: Asizzle
Female student on cell: We don't know anything until we know something.
–Columbia University
Balding middle aged man guiding middle aged woman down stairs: Step, step, step, step. Flat, flat, flat, flat. Step…
–Columbia
Yoga instructor to skinny college girl: Turn your head to the left. Turn your head to the left. The left. The left. The left. Your other left. I know you go to Columbia.
–Bikram Yoga, Harlem
Overcaffinated Columbia freshman girl to another: What do you mean your sociology textbook ate King Lear?
–Carman Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: that would make it difficult to finish either reading
Subway employee: And what kind of cheese would you like on your turkey?
Woman: Tomato.
–Subway, 98th St & Broadway
Fat short college guy: Yo, buddy. I've been meaning to ask, but…
Handsome tall college guy: Yeah?
Fat short college guy: If I was gay, would you give me a pity fuck?
Handsome tall college guy: Probably.
–Times Square
NYU student to another: Spinach is like sex: if you were forced to have it as a child, you wouldn't enjoy it as an adult.
–University Place & 12th St
Hobo, pointing to deli sign: They want you to toss your own salad for $8.95.
–23rd and 3rd
Overheard by: Nicole Shipman
Suit shouting into cell: Eggplant! Eggplant! Jesus Christ, what is so fucking hard about eggplant?!
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Sunny
Subway preacher: I like vegetables! You gotta eat them so you can live. I like to put vegetables in my mouth. I like the way they taste!
–N Train
Guy to another: Take the pickle, because by god if someone else does and you don't get it, well, you'll be pickle-less and that's not ideal.
–125th St
Overheard by: Brian K.
Rite Aide worker #1: Yo, where are the keys?
Rite Aide worker #2: They're in my pocket… Jeez!
(Rite Aide worker #1 takes keys out of #2's pant pocket)
Rite Aide worker #2: Don't violate me!
Rite Aide worker #1: You know you like it.
–Rite Aide, Carrol Gardens
Hobo, leering at big-boobed girl's shirt: Did you know that Michael Jackson owned the Beatles music?
Rocker chick: Yeah, he owned the catalog.
Hobo: No, he owned the music! I'm saying he owned the music!
–57th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Just trying to buy a cupcake…
30-something man to girlfriend: I liked it. I mean, it really made me think: if twenty years from now I went in a hot tub and was transported back to today, what would I tell myself to do with my life?
–23rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: drose
Dad to teenage children: I wouldn't see Twilight if my life depended on it. If I had to choose, I would choose to die.
–Times Square
Acting professor: Did you see how Brando picked up her glove? He wanted her to stay. Do you ever do that? Take someone's things just so you know they'll come back? (dead silence) Guess you kids just aren't devious like me…
–Tisch School of the Arts
Older man to ticket salesman: Are Precious and The Rocky Horror Picture Show a double feature?
–Clearview Cinema, Chelsea
Tattooed guy on cell: I want a human pyramid. I want a naked human pyramid.
–Veniero's Pastry Shop
Young lady: Yes, but it's not like I go riding around the city naked on a horse…
–57th St
Dude on cell: Shut up! I will sit on your face… without drawers.
–14th & 6th
Young thug to friend: She said she went up in there, and everybody in the crib was naked, everybody. Buck-ass naked.
–Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: rick
Three-year-old boy, looking at unclothed figures at African people exhibit: Daddy? Did they take off their diapers?
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Freaked the kid out after laughing at his commment
Boy: Yeah, I'm just really bad at putting big things into little things.
Girl: Oh… Was that supposed to be sexual?
Boy: Nah. If it was sexual I would have ended it with “bowchickabowwow” or something.
–1 Train
