Hipster #1: Did you ever see The Brown Bunny?
Hipster #2: No, what's it about?
Hipster #1: This guy, he's a motorcycle racist…
Hipster #2: A motorcycle racist?
Hipster #1: Yeah, he races motorcycles.
–Atlantic Terminal Target
Hipster #1: Did you ever see The Brown Bunny?
Hipster #2: No, what's it about?
Hipster #1: This guy, he's a motorcycle racist…
Hipster #2: A motorcycle racist?
Hipster #1: Yeah, he races motorcycles.
–Atlantic Terminal Target
Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.
–E Train
Overheard by: Laura
White college dude with glasses: Guys, you absolutely must check out this new reality television show. It is off the hiz-ook. Literally, off the hiz-ook.
College chick: Why do we hang out with you?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Boy on class trip #1: Look! The hall of Asian mammals!
Boy on class trip #2: Since when are there mammals in Asia?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Amanda
Girl on cell passing by: That sounds great, honey, but there is no possible reason you'd need to shove an entire lime in the garbage disposal.
–Lafayette & Houston
(tourist lady eats banana)
Ferry bag lady: Why are you eating that banana? You know it's not healthy for you. They say you need potassium but you don't need no potassium. You don't want no banana, it's nasty and mushy. Throw it out. Throw out that banana. You don't want no nasty mushy banana.
(bug-eyed tourist lady continues to eat banana)
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Five-year-old girl, sitting in the grocery cart next to her twin sister, as their mother pushes them around the store: You're squishing me like a pineapple! You're squishing me like a pineapple, I said!
–9th St Market
Overheard by: Elle Woods (Chelsea Huckabay)
Old man with Boston accent to prepubescent boy: Squirt that in your nose and it's like you have a blueberry bush.
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Anniemal
20-year-old bakery chick: I was in Brooklyn yesterday on 18th Ave. There were three Mexicans on bikes. One was dressed like a banana. So then I walked up to him and I was like: "Dude, you're dressed like a banana and you're on a bike, that's awesome. Can I take a picture of you?"
–Bakery, Staten Island
Overheard by: Traci Cuccurullo
Loud girl: I never wash my fruit! I eat things that have fallen on the floor! And that's why I don't have allergies!
–375 Hudson St.
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Thug on cell: Wait, so you said you needed something for herpes? (pause) I said, you need something for your herpes? (pause) Well, I smoked a little before I came over here…
–Harlem Rite Aid
Man: Your wife! Your wife! Richard Dawkins is gonna get herpes from your wife!
–French Roast, 86th & Broadway
Overheard by: zdog
Girl on cell wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana: I dunno, I mean, I just can't keep doing this. I don't want to get herpes again.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: JLief
Girl on subway to friend: I've never looked at you and thought you looked like you had herpes.
–E Train
Mother to tween daughter, ecstatically hugging friend: Remember, girls: No sharing saliva. That's how you get herpes and ruin your summer.
–3rd & 92nd
Overheard by: rebecca
Man on cell: Do you have any (quieter and mumbled) bagms? (pause, more intense) Do you have any (mumbled)? (one word at a time) Weed! Weed! Do you have any weeeed? (pause) No? Nothing? Well you're not much of a drug dealer then, are you?
–77th St & 3rd Ave, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: fet
Hipster: …becoming a teacher and then getting arrested for marijuana possession in South Korea.
–L Train
Overheard by: paola
Boy running by: They're playing frisbee! I have to roll a joint!
–Pratt Institute
Teenage girl to guy with long hair and long beard in a tie-dye shirt: You look like you could be some kind of famous stoner.
–L Train
Mother to seven-year-old son (angrily): Don't you ever tell anyone else at school that I smoke marijuana! I'll go to jail and you'll be dead! (suddenly calm) It is, however, something I personally believe people should have a right to do.
–M102 Bus
Teen: Excuse me officer, do you guys still do that thing where you get a grand for turning in people with guns?
Cop: Yeah, if they are arrested and are in possession of illegal firearms.
Teen: So, is that like a grand per head kinda deal?
Officer: I don't think so, no.
Teen: Oh…I don't know shit. (walks away)
–Columbus Circle Station
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Distressed four-year-old: But why are you walking in front of me?
Father: Honey, I know you're the princess, but that doesn't mean I can't walk in front of you.
–101st & Amsterdam
Girl: Did you use a condom?
Boy: Nope.
Girl: You’re going to get an STD!
Boy: No, I'm not. It's okay.
Girl: That's what you said last time!
–Union Square