Wednesday One-Liners Go Great with Biscotti

Suit: Ladies and gentlemen, I have a financially stable family with two children. I just played fourteen holes at the country club and would kill for an iced cappuccino. Please give me some money.

–1 Train

Man, about two women passing: Fellas, you can’t let them get away! If you do, they’ll turn into a cup of coffee and a buttered roll!

–Bleecker & 11th

Toothless bum: Hey man, can I get two dollars so I can get myself a Cappuccino?

–B Train

Overheard by: Comack

Seven-year-old boy: Mom, I want to take a picture of Starbucks!

–42nd & Broadway

Posted on July 23, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Coffee, Hobos, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Pictures, Questions, Suits, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

Mom’s Fling With Josh Ended Predictably

14-year old girl #1: Did you call her a bitch?
14-year old girl #2: No. I was like: “Mom! You have chlamydia. Shut up!”

–B Train

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on July 22, 2008
Default, Girls, Insults, On the Subway, Parents, Questions, STDs, Teens, Words

Miss Wetter and Mr. Beaver Got Off to a Rocky Start

Girl #1: She wouldn’t even take his name?
Girl #2: And she even refused to hyphenate? That’s ridiculous!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Noelle

Posted on July 22, 2008
Default, Girls, Marriage, Names, Questions

It’s Like the Universe in That Respect

Street vendor: Designer jewelry. Five dollars.
Woman: Really? What designer?
Street vendor: Who knows.

–52st & 5th

Posted on July 22, 2008
Default, Fashion, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Questions, Vendors & Street Performers, Women

After He Saw on Dr. Phil That Families Should Do Things Together

Young male professional: So your dad’s cool with you not eating?
Young female professional: Yeah, he’s totally fine with it. He’s gonna start next week too.

–Union Square

Posted on July 22, 2008
Anorexic, Coworkers, Default, Diet/Weight, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Psychology, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Bingo in the Parish Hall Prepares You for Eternal Torment

Teenage girl #1: Yeah, I celebrate Easter. I’m Catholic. It’s tradition for my family to go gambling in Atlantic City that day.
Teenage girl #2: Wait, isn’t that one of the seven unforgivable vices? You’re doing it on Easter, too. Haha.
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, well… We don’t really believe in that religion bullshit. Atlantic City allows us to stick it to the man.
Teenage girl #1: Is that Jesus? Wow, you’re going to hell.

–51st & Park Ave

Posted on July 21, 2008
Christianity, Default, Girls, Hell, Holidays, Jesus, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Teens, U.S. Geography

Mmm…Marriage…

Art teacher: This piece is from the enlightenment period in England and is called “Marriage a la Mode”.
Kid to friend: Wait… Marriage with ice cream?

–Bronx Science Art History Class

Overheard by: One with whipped cream please

Posted on July 21, 2008
Books & Writing, Bronx Science, Classroom, Default, Food, Friends, History & Geography, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, The Bronx, Words

Shield Them from Harm; Deploy Them Only in Emergencies

Little girl to mother: Puberty means the period, right?
Mother to little girl: Yes, and the breasts. Don’t forget about the breasts.

–47th & Lexington

Overheard by: Simun

Posted on July 21, 2008
Age/Aging, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Nipples, Questions

When I Try It, I Come Away with Cold Sores and Shame

Tween girl to friends: Did you know kissing is good for your health?
Cashier lady: Kissing *who*?

–Loehmann’s Upper West Side

Posted on July 21, 2008
Cashiers, Default, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Questions, Store, Tweens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

She’s One of My Best Facebook Friends

Trendy girl #1: I mean, Michelle’s one of my best friends…
Trendy girl #2: Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you, did Michelle and Kyle break up?
Trendy girl #1: I think so. According to Facebook.

–A Train

Posted on July 20, 2008
Breaking Up, Default, Facebook, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Gossip, Questions, Weirdness

Questions

Mom’s Fling With Josh Ended Predictably