Male #1: I have a daughter that dresses like a hooker, and everyday I yell at her: “*Nicole! Stop dressing like a hooker!” …She’s a fucking cutter too!
Male #2: She cuts class?
Male #1: No. She cuts herself and she doesn’t even do a good job of covering it up either! How the hell does she expect to get a guy with all that shit on her arm?
–Marillac Hall, St. John’s University
Overheard by: Leonard Castell
Girl with clipboard: Excuse me, do you have a moment for gay rights?
College guy, not stopping: I love lesbian porn!
–116 & Broadway
[Man with big dog is standing on the sidewalk. Man with small dog walks by. Small dog starts jumping at and around big dog.]Man with big dog: Is it a boy?
Man with small dog: Yeah.
Man with big dog: Oh, he better watch out! [Gestures to his dog.] She’s a slut!
–Washington Place, Outside Pless Hall
Overheard by: Caliban
Loud lady #1: What you gonna name yo baby when she pop out?
Loud lady #2: Merlot.
Loud lady #1: What?!
Loud lady #2: Merlot.
Loud lady #1: Marlin?
Loud lady #2: Merlot. Its a fine wine, dummy. The reason she be comin’ in to dis world.
–1 Train
Overheard by: TylerDavis
Wifey: Did you just see what happened?
Husband: Yes.
Wifey: That’s why you need to let people off the train first before you try to get on.
Husband: Okay.
Wifey: Next time, just follow me okay?
Husband, disgruntled: Okay.
[Wifey starts reading a book and hubby starts reading his morning newspaper.]Wifey, glancing at husband: You really need to clean your ears out -you have a big piece of wax in your ear!
Husband: Thanks for letting me know.
Wifey: No problem.
–N Train
Mother: Are you still drunk?
Daughter: I wasn’t drunk yesterday!
–71st St & Broadway, Queens
Hipster smoking clove: Hey, what kind of fur is that?
Uptown woman in fur: Um… Fake?
Hipster smoking clove: Cool.
–Outside the Imperial Theatre, West 45th Street
Overheard by: JasonBSchmidt
Girl #1: I think Inna still gets a little embarrassed when we have sexy-time.
Girl #2: Do you think that deep in her heart she is not a lesbian?
Girl #1: I dunno… But–
Girl #2: Remember the twizzler incident! The twizzler incident!
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Penneh
College meathead #1: You don’t think generally the size of the person is the size of the dick?
College meathead #2: Nah, I mean how could you prove that?
College meathead #3: Dude, why do you think babies’ dicks are so small?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Kid #1: They be profiling us, though! Did you see the way the cops came directly up to us?
Kid #2: Calm down, peoples is lookin’ at us.
Kid #1: That shit pisses me off though! They think we all just smoke weed and sell drugs!
Kid #2: But that’s all we ever do, smoke week and sell drugs!
[Kids laugh, onlookers try not to].
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fet
