Mother: Are you still drunk?
Daughter: I wasn’t drunk yesterday!
–71st St & Broadway, Queens
Mother: Are you still drunk?
Daughter: I wasn’t drunk yesterday!
–71st St & Broadway, Queens
Hipster smoking clove: Hey, what kind of fur is that?
Uptown woman in fur: Um… Fake?
Hipster smoking clove: Cool.
–Outside the Imperial Theatre, West 45th Street
Overheard by: JasonBSchmidt
Girl #1: I think Inna still gets a little embarrassed when we have sexy-time.
Girl #2: Do you think that deep in her heart she is not a lesbian?
Girl #1: I dunno… But–
Girl #2: Remember the twizzler incident! The twizzler incident!
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Penneh
College meathead #1: You don’t think generally the size of the person is the size of the dick?
College meathead #2: Nah, I mean how could you prove that?
College meathead #3: Dude, why do you think babies’ dicks are so small?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Kid #1: They be profiling us, though! Did you see the way the cops came directly up to us?
Kid #2: Calm down, peoples is lookin’ at us.
Kid #1: That shit pisses me off though! They think we all just smoke weed and sell drugs!
Kid #2: But that’s all we ever do, smoke week and sell drugs!
[Kids laugh, onlookers try not to].
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fet
Man on barstool: I want to toast my friend who passed away.
Bartender, as he slides glass to man: Oh geez, sorry to hear that. When did he die?
Man: Four years ago.
Bartender: Four years ago… And you are just now…
Man: I’ve been busy.
–3rd Ave Bar, near 37th
Overheard by: Paul
20-something chick: Besame!
Boyfriend: Piss on me? Really?
20-something chick: No! Besame! It means “Kiss me” in Spanish!
Boyfriend: Oh. Can I do both?
20-something chick: If you were bilingual we wouldn’t have this problem.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Really tall white guy: Dude! Chinatown is awesome! I accidentally elbowed a woman in the face, and she didn’t even say anything!
Asian friend: What?!
–Mulberry & Bayard
English teacher: So, have you ever gone with your class to The Met?
Bimbette art student: I don’t do things.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt (ashamed to be an art student)
Woman: Okay, follow me.
Man: I would follow you to the ends of… Um…
Woman: The earth?
Man: Uh, not that far.
–44th & Madison
Overheard by: donz
