Chick: So, wait — he’s dating her?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: But he lives with his ex-boyfriend?
Dude: Of 13 years. Yes.
Chick: Hmmm.
–Ace Bar, 5th St, between Ave A & B
Overheard by: santa’s boy toy
Chick: So, wait — he’s dating her?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: But he lives with his ex-boyfriend?
Dude: Of 13 years. Yes.
Chick: Hmmm.
–Ace Bar, 5th St, between Ave A & B
Overheard by: santa’s boy toy
Woman on Bluetooth: How’s the weather like in your New York?
–33rd & Broadway
Old lady: Geez! Man! It is really cold here! [Looks at other lady] This is why I live in Brooklyn!
–96th & Broadway
Brit tourist to another: Eeee, I knew it were gonna be cold, but I forgot we’d have to, like, go outside.
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Chick on cell: Why can’t you pick me up, Dad? … I don’t want to wait for the bus — it’s too cold out… Okay, thanks. See you later. [Hangs up phone.] Asshole.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Overheard by: Sternie
Queer hipster: It’s gonna be cold this weekend. Like, negative four or negative zero.
–Essex Restaurant, LES
Pilot: Welcome aboard our plane this afternoon, with direct service to Atlanta. The current weather in Atlanta is actually colder than it is here, so it sucks to be you.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: jaybrrd
Bronx-born bartender: Theses mouses is gangstas up in here!
–Bar, Gramercy Park
Overheard by: Johnny Progrums
Hispanic kid in group: Gah! Not only do they have rats, but they have immigrants!
–34th St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Black queer on cell, flailing arms as rat crosses his path: Oh my god, a giant rat just went by! It was as large as a purse!
–93rd & Broadway
Woman on phone: … So they said, ‘If you found a rat, then you got a free taco…’
–92nd & Lex
Overheard by: Lost my craving for Mexican for dinner
NYU chick: Is that like a rat that masturbates?!
–Carlyle residence hall, Union Square
Overheard by: j
Father to son: Well, I guess she’ll just have to become a stripper…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lezbitron
Girl on phone: I guess we should go ahead with the strippers and do it.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: MG
Middle-aged woman: I don’t know. I mean, can you put a 20 in the G-string?
–Metro-North, Harlem Line
Frat boy: Hey, man, belly dancers ain’t strippers. I learned that the hard way.
–AMC Theaters, Lincoln Center
Girl to pal: Well, where do you want your ashes spread? A strip club?
–12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Talia
Blonde: Wait, are you Jewish?
Brunette: No. I’m Colombian.
–96th & 5th
Patron: I just saw Dreamgirls.
Pianist: How was it?
Patron: So good it killed James Brown.
–Marie’s Crisis, 59 Grove St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Girl: Oh, has your ear been penetrated?
Boy: It’s called ‘pierced,’ Maddie, not ‘penetrated.’ Pierced.
–Central Park
Dude #1, burping loudly: I know you’re gassy if you have to fart a lot, but what are you if you have to burp a lot?
Dude #2: Same thing, in the opposite direction.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wiley Willis
Female clerk: Do we have Skinny Bitch down here?
Queer clerk: Oh, I don’t know. What does she look like?
Female clerk: It’s a book.
Queer clerk: Oh, we have books here, too.
–Barnes & Noble
Teen daughter: So, is this what you saw?
Mother: What?
Teen daughter: Is this what you saw when you took estrogen?
–Summer of Love: Art of the Psychedelic Era, Whitney Museum
Overheard by: flowerchild
