Cute but innocent 20-something: Guess where I'm going tonight?
Older female coworker: Oh, is tonight the night you're going out with the hockey team?
Cute but innocent 20-something: Yeah, I won a contest! I'm going to Pittsburgh on a bus with the Islanders.
Male coworker: And when you come back, you'll be a woman.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Big Larry
Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?
–Subway Platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: Poogtastic
Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!
–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.
–Crowded Uptown 1 Train
MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krisztina
Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.
–G Train, Court Square
Overheard by: Katrink
Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!
–6 Train
Dad: What was your favorite part of the museum?
Smart looking four-year-old in glasses: The water slide.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Loen
Gay man with a completely serious tone: It is going to take a lot of brownie mix and a lot of sex -but I am committed.
–W 52nd & 9th
Overheard by: I wish I knew what they were speaking about
Queer: Well kids, it’s been great, but I gotta go. I have a meeting in a little bit and I want to masturbate first.
–Wagner College Dinning Hall
Queer: Anyone can just leave. It takes a true queen to make an exit.
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Queer: And then I was so glad I miscarried because getting knocked up and being pregnant is like, such a hassle!
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: bitterfame
Gay guy on cell: So wait, you got kicked out because a couple of bitchy fags sprayed you with alcohol?
–23rd & 7th
Black queer: My pillow is Gucci! Raaaaaah! [He beings to attack people with said Gucci pillow.]
–Pillow Fight, Union Square
Overheard by: Lillian
Old large gay man to group of young gays: It was really great meeting you all. You are such an interesting group of people. [To one boy.] I’d love to see you in a speedo!
–Hollywood Diner, 17th St & 6th Ave
Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!
–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St
Overheard by: gothchick
Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!
–Ludow & Stanton
Overheard by: M & J
Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.
–W 110th St
Overheard by: Ashley
Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Asian yuppie: Plus, I wanna know when I'm going to get my share of those statues!
Jewish hipster: Just because you look like the Qin emperor doesn't mean you deserve to get his stuff.
Asian yuppie: Well, if not me, then who?
–1 Train
Girl #1: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
Girl #2: I know. [Smiles.]Girl #1: Thanks for bringing me here, I love you. I am so glad I became a lesbian, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have met you!
Girl #2: Aww, thanks. Do you want to go to my apartment now?
Girl #1: Yes! Let’s go. Are we going to have fun like we did last night?
Girl #2: Even more, baby.
–M&M Store, Times Square
NYU kid #1: Who wouldn’t want sex toys?
NYU kid #2: Well, I already have so many. I don’t have clothes in my drawers, they’re full of sex toys!
–Washington Square Park
Student #1, commenting on hole in graph: Is it a black hole?
Student #2, sarcastically: No, a red hole.
Teacher, writing on brown blackboard: It's a brown hole.
(class bursts into laughter)
–Math Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Gucci girl #1: Okay, let’s play ‘Would You Rather?’!
Gucci girl #2: Okay.
Gucci girl #1: Would you rather… be an auto mechanic or… die of breast cancer?
–F train
Overheard by: My sister
