Tourist: Wait, so you’re telling me that Jesus is coming back within the next year?
Apocalyptic shaman: Amen brother.
Tourist: And that he’s a black man?
Apocalyptic shaman: Now, why you got to go and be a wise-ass cracka about it?
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Meghan
Wasp guy: Kid Rock, Mark Wahlberg, and Eminem are my top three.
Friend: Your top three?
Wasp guy: Yeah, my top three celebs. Like, seriously, they're the coolest people ever.
–L Train
Black girl: Would you look at that white cracka?
Lighter-skinned black girl: Bitch, you could be just as white as I am because you don't even know who your daddy is.
–Times Square
Latino #1: Man, that nigga is black!.
Latino #2: Fo’ real. He could, like, walk into a funeral butt-naked, that nigga so black.
–Taco Bell, Northern Blvd, Woodside
Overheard by: playbill staffer
Fordham freshman girl to others: So how far is it from Fordham road to Bloomingdale's?
Black passer-by: Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! I love white girls!
Fordham freshman girl: Let's take a cab.
–Fordham Road
Black kid after seeing white girl in gym clothes run by: Man, for a second I thought that white girl was running from the cops too!
–Fordham Road, The Bronx
Overheard by: run, white girl, run
Middle-aged black lady yelling on crowded train: Young black men stand the fuck up! Kill the NYPD!
–A Train
Little kid to bus driver, after a police car siren is heard: Whenever I hear a police car siren, I always think that they are getting donuts, 'cause, ya know, cops love donuts, right?
–B41 Bus
Dude: I was playing the new GTA. I drove around looking for my apartment but couldn't find it, so I just shot a bunch of cops.
–Columbus Circle
Cop with M-4 assault rifle (serious voice, on a sunny day): It's raining men out here.
–86th & Lexington
Asian girl to friend: You know her! She’s the Asian girl — you know, the one with the eyes!
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Chuckles
Little boy about Japanese man: Mom, how come that man is closing his eyes all the time?!
–Liberty St
Overheard by: galgal
Emo Asian boy: You can recover from drug or alcohol addictions, but there is no cure for Asianism.
–Weinstein Dining Hall, NYU
Drunk Asian man: Did you see that mosaic? It’s all wrong. The Asians were all one shade of yellow. What kind of art work is that? Look at me and my people — we’re multiple shades!
–R train
20-something woman: Being an Asian and being a tranny aren’t the same thing.
–Dallas BBQ, Chelsea
Overheard by: Ladle
White teacher to ninth grade class: Okay, everyone, drop your papers on my desk. Drop it like it's hot!
Latino student (laughing): Miss, you can't say things like “drop it like it's hot”!
White teacher: Why not?
Latino student: 'cause you're white! White people don't say things like “drop it like it's hot”. White people say things like “neat!” and “there is no “I” in team”.
–The Bronx
Woman: It’s so rare to see a happy, black couple these days.
–Nunya
Overheard by: Jason
Guy on cell: I want to do, like, a modern blaxploitation kinda thing.
–111th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Conrad
JAP on cell: Yeah, Flava Flav. The show’s called Flava of Love, it’s like The Bachelor for black people.
–J&B Coffee, W 3rd St & McDougal
Overheard by: amused black girl
Ghetto girl: I swear, I feel like motherfuckin’ Harriet Tubman. Shoot.
–Tunnel between F & 1 trains, 14th St
Guy: Hey, you guys like stand-up comedy? Take this flyer. What, you ain’t gonna take it? Is it ’cause I’m black?
–Times Square
Bimbette: I’m not racist, I talked to a black girl in the bathroom today.
–A train
Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!
–F Train
