Homeboy to Latina chick: My name is TC. You know what that stands for? Too Cool, Too Cute, or Too Crazy, you gotta find out which.
Latina chick says nothing.
Homeboy: You look depressed.
–L train, Morgan Ave.
Overheard by: Nick McD
Homeboy to Latina chick: My name is TC. You know what that stands for? Too Cool, Too Cute, or Too Crazy, you gotta find out which.
Latina chick says nothing.
Homeboy: You look depressed.
–L train, Morgan Ave.
Overheard by: Nick McD
Guy #1: I’m serious about the slightly racist comments, they go a long way in jokes.
Guy #2: You can get away with it, she’s your girlfriend.
Guy #1: Yeah if she gets really angry I just draw a penis or something saying “Hello *Jenny!” and then everything’s okay.
–Eastchester & Morris Park
13-year-old girl #1: I can't believe he's with that ho now.
13-year-old girl #2: It's 'cause she just got right up in his face and spread 'em. She just spread 'em.
13-year-old girl #1: Well, yeah, I mean she's ugly so she'd had to do something really extreme, you know?
13-year-old girl #2: Yeah, girl, she just spread 'em.
13-year-old girl #1: Whatever, it might have been easy but I could do all kinds of freaky things she just can't ever do for him. She made it easy, but she ain't a freak like me. I can do him all kinds of freaky ways that no one else can.
13-year-old girl #2: Well, I can do some freaky shit too.
13-year-old girl #1: Yeah, maybe. But not like me. I think I'm the freakiest woman alive. I got secrets you just can't even imagine. And I'm not sharin'.
–1 Train
Overheard by: shocked and appalled
Girl #1, in library: Where's Samantha*?
Girl #2: Over there. (points)
Girl #1: I don't see her. Oh, there she is! She blends in with the nerds.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Suburbanite guy: I was in this relationship for, like, eight months. We were in the same, like, mental place, y’know, like we were both so gay, like “Oh, I love you, I love you.”
Suburbanite chick: Wait, gay?
Suburbanite guy: Y’know, like, corny.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Pitr
Drunk black girl #1, hearing Hispanic dance song: I live in the Bronx. I hear this shit every day.
Drunk black girl #2: You live in Brooklyn.
Drunk black girl #1: My boyfriend lives in the Bronx and my rent is due.
–New Year's Eve Party, Spanish Harlem
Overheard by: Patrick
Female Police Officer: So he calls me at 1:59 and tells me, ‘I’m out with the guys and I won’t be able to be home by 2.’ So I say to him, ‘Just don’t come home at 6 am!’ and he says okay and then he comes home at 5:59!
Male Police Officer: Why do you put up with this?
Female Police Officer: Because once you go Puerto Rican, you never go a-seekin’!
–Precinct 90, Williamsburg
Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough.
–66th & Broadway
College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough.
–12th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Strand Customer
Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches?
–CUNY Queensborough
Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches!
–Union Square
Man on pay phone: Naw, naw! You gotta tell him! We ain’t down with the broomstick!
–4th Street & 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Earl Holloway
Man on sidewalk: You ain’t nuttin’ but a whore! I fed up payin’ fo’ yo’ shit! You gonna go broke!
Woman four stories up: Sweetheart, I got a pussy! I ain’t never gonna go broke!
–11th & 1st
Overheard by: muffin girl
