Schoolboy to girl: You know you like him.
Schoolgirl to boy: No I don’t! He’s disgusting! I wouldn’t let him even touch me or come near me… Well, unless we were dancing.
–6 Train
Overheard by: CSneed
Schoolboy to girl: You know you like him.
Schoolgirl to boy: No I don’t! He’s disgusting! I wouldn’t let him even touch me or come near me… Well, unless we were dancing.
–6 Train
Overheard by: CSneed
Huge black guy on cell: Yo man, I got nostalgic on that ass!
–Center & Lafayette
Overheard by: jonnytimmy
Male #1: I have a daughter that dresses like a hooker, and everyday I yell at her: “*Nicole! Stop dressing like a hooker!” …She’s a fucking cutter too!
Male #2: She cuts class?
Male #1: No. She cuts herself and she doesn’t even do a good job of covering it up either! How the hell does she expect to get a guy with all that shit on her arm?
–Marillac Hall, St. John’s University
Overheard by: Leonard Castell
Wifey: Did you just see what happened?
Husband: Yes.
Wifey: That’s why you need to let people off the train first before you try to get on.
Husband: Okay.
Wifey: Next time, just follow me okay?
Husband, disgruntled: Okay.
[Wifey starts reading a book and hubby starts reading his morning newspaper.]Wifey, glancing at husband: You really need to clean your ears out -you have a big piece of wax in your ear!
Husband: Thanks for letting me know.
Wifey: No problem.
–N Train
Woman: Okay, follow me.
Man: I would follow you to the ends of… Um…
Woman: The earth?
Man: Uh, not that far.
–44th & Madison
Overheard by: donz
Fat crackhead woman: Where you been?
Well dressed businessman: Around… Where you been?
Fat crackhead woman: Lockup!
–Starbucks, Harlem
Overheard by: Ryan J
African man, yelling into cell: I am not riding a bike! I’m not a machine! I’m not a machine! I’m not a wheel!
–W 23rd St
Overheard by: I’m a train!
Loud chick on cell: So I told him he’s gotta do some exercises or something to keep up with me. I mean, he doesn’t do any foreplay or anything, just climbs his fat ass on top of me…
–37th & Broadway
Guy on phone at sandwich shop: How am I? Well, that’s a complicated quesion -do you mean right now, or in general? Because right now, Lisa’s got a really bad cold and is all set up on the couch and I just got back from a eulogy for a friend’s pop. So now I’m getting a coffee and then I plan on riding the bicycle at the gym -’cause that’s the closest I can get to heroin. How are you?
–85th & Columbus Ave
Lady, to marathon wheelchair participants: Don’t just sit there, go go go!
–99th & 5th, NYC Marathon
Grown woman, clapping and bouncing up and down: Yaaaaaaay, I get to go on the slide!
–76th & York
Ten-year-old girl leaving the midnight showing of Harry Potter: Ugh. I am never working out again!
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Dude #1: … Yo it was awesome man, she was so hot. It totally made the ski trip worth it.
Dude #2: Look at you, Governor Spitzer, gettin’ some outta town booty.
–Bryant Park
Hipster guy: Yo! My girlfriend gave me a hickey, and now there’s a rumor that I got into a fight with a black kid.
Friend: Dude!
–Edward Murrow High School
Headline by: Justin
Runners-Up:
· “Oh Please! If That Were True You’d Have a Stab-wound, Not a Hickey.” – nosey nafia
· “Shouldn’t Have Let Her Hickey Your Eye, I Guess.” – Internev
· “That’s Funny, I’d Heard Something About a Vacuum Cleaner” – Marv in DC
· “Well, She Does Look Like Gary Coleman.” – stevevc
Boy waving banana: Want this?
Frustrated girl: I don’t need a banana. I have a boyfriend.
–College Walk, Columbia University
