Criminal law professor: But why shouldn't it be illegal to be intoxicated in public?
Student: No one should impede my right to have a good time.
–Brooklyn Law School
Criminal law professor: But why shouldn't it be illegal to be intoxicated in public?
Student: No one should impede my right to have a good time.
–Brooklyn Law School
Student: What about sex?
Economics professor: What about it?
Student: Well, it's something that probably never has a diminishing marginal utility.
Economics professor: You wish. (class laughs) Plus, for most of us in this room, sex isn't usually a market transaction.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Danielle
Dude #1: Dude, you're gonna love pediatrics!
Dude #2: Dude, I know. Dude! I was at the clinic, and there was this girl, you know, already laid back in the chair. She was waiting for something, I don't know, I don't know what she was waiting for, but she was already back in the chair, and… dude, she was sick hot. Like, she was a local, but she looked like a Dominican Jennifer Lopez.
Dude #1: Dude, you're gonna have so much fun with that!
Dude #2: I know, dude. I'm gonna fuckin lay my talons into that shit. Single moms? There are gonna be a ton of single moms! Third year? Good times, dude!
Dude #1: (chuckles into the stunned silences of dudes #3 and #4)
Dude #2: I'm glad I took ethics, dude. Shit, ethics? I didn't really learn a whole lot from ethics, dude.
Dudes #3 and #4: (amplified stunned silence)
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: Lili
Airhead girl #1: I can't wait to go to school here. Everyone tells me I'm gonna die. I'm not gonna die!
Airhead girl #2: If anyone is gonna die, it's gonna be you.
Airhead girl #1: I'm *so* not gonna die. This is gonna be so much fun.
–Chelsea
Dude: Do boobs need a reason?
–Perdition bar, 49th & 10th
Overheard by: Brokeass Harem
Guy: This is high school. Breasts are usually an effective way of determining gender.
–Stuyvesant High School
Old woman with Julie Andrews accent: I used to be quite buxom!
–Chinese Restaurant, 55th & 6th
Wife to husband: Did you see the tits on that Santa?
–Outside Penn Station, During SantaCon
Curvy woman on cell: Accessories? Oh please. My breasts are accessory enough.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Professor: May I speak of your mother's uterus?
Foreign grad student: Uh…
Professor: You're sharing such a small space. Someone's bound to get more resources. It's crazy!
–Lecture Hall, NYU
Overheard by: uteran lining
20-something fashionista #1: If it weren't for Red Bull I don't know if I'd still be in college, girl.
20-something fashionista #2: Yeah, I know, girl… But if you take two, girl, it gives you diarrhea.
20-something fashionista #1: Yeah…
–L Train
Overheard by: ~LaLa~
Crackhead: Here's how it goes: first you go get your master's for four years, and then after you go to undergrad for four years. That shit takes a long time!
Woman, politely: Oh. I get it!
–1st Ave & 13th St
Mother: So it goes Groton, Exeter, then Andover. That's your priority list right?
Five-year-old boy: Right.
–88th St & Lexington Ave
Teenage girl #1: I'm taking math, earth science, socialism, and English.
Teenage girl #2: Uh-uh.
–President St & Smith St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: porter
