Mom: Will you look at that — a shoe store!
Four-year-old girl: Isn’t it magical?
–Payless Shoe Store, Astoria
Girl: Why aren’t you wearing any shoes?
Guy: I lost them a few hours ago. I don’t know where they went!
Girl: You’re such a drunk.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Guy to friends: They broke up… He was only in the relationship for the free Nike gear anyway.
–Stone St.
Overheard by: Jen
Hipster dude: So Jane* is coming to the studio tonight to do some recording. Should I have her do it and then break up with her, or break up with her first and then have her do it?
–F Train
Overheard by: dianora
13-year-old girl on cell: What? You broke up with him? That’s so cruel! Um, can I date him?
–Thompson Street, The Village
Excited teen girl: This would be a great place to break up with some people!
–8th St Park
Girl on cell: They broke up? I always thought that them breaking up was like a joke, like saying you don’t like Brussels sprouts when you secretly do, but you just say it because it’s the first yucky vegetable that comes to your mind. But hey, that’s great!
–Outside the Frick Museum
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Guy, yelling from third story fire escape: Sarah! Sarah Whitlock! Don’t leave me! She meant nothing to me! Come back… Please! (pause) Okay, but I’m keeping the deposit!
–E 4th Street
Overheard by: Nima Shirazi
Girl to friend: Man, every time I pass this place the people sitting outside talk shit about me.
Outdoor customer to friend: Check out those ugly boots.
–13th & 3rd
Suit: … But then I’d just be one big, walking boob!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: uh what?
Hipster chick: Oh my god, I know! Chad told me I have to show him my boobs before we graduate, and that’s, like, only a month away!
–118th & Broadway
Overheard by: sapphirebluemica
Ghetto tourist man looking at Maidenform billboard: Breasts! Breasts on a billboard!
–35th & 7th
Overheard by: Moses
19-year-old girl: I am not leaving here without black ballet flats and breasts.
–Bathroom line, Macy’s
Little boy: Look, Mommy, Shrek has titties!
–AMC, Bay Plaza
Overheard by: Mel & Damee
Boyfriend to angry girlfriend: I didn’t say you had an awkward body! I said you had awkward breasts!
–Camp, Cobble Hill
Teen punk girl: You know, I don't get why people wear uggs. They're all like, “oh, they're warm, they're warm! I don't care if they're warm, they are not attractive!
Teen hipster friend: Yeah, I know, right?
Teen punk girl: There's many things that are warm, but that are not attractive. North Face ski coats are warm, are they attractive? No. Fat people must be warm, are they attractive? Fuck no!
–110th & Amsterdam
Music manager on phone: You know what you need? Lesbians! Everyone needs a lesbian.
–20th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: LoRna
Lady on cell: And now she thinks I’m a lesbian because I borrowed her…
–Union Square Greenmarket
Overheard by: borrowed her what?
Guy on cell: Did you bring chairs and a cooler? Cause usually lesbians are so prepared, they always bring chairs and a cooler.
–Ludlow near Rivington
English woman (trying on a pair of vintage men inspired shoes) to man: I always thought there was something very chic about a woman wearing a man’s shoe. (looks at her footwear) But I have to be skinny for this look, otherwise I’ll look like a lesbian!
–Frock Vintage Store
Overheard by: Shoegal
Guy to friend: She isn’t a lesbian but she does own a house.
–13th & 1st
Suit on cell: No, I’m not coming in today…I’m on the Upper East Side. There’s all this traffic from the Pope’s "Don’t sodomize the kids" world tour.
–83rd & Lex
Guy at bar: Most Popes hate Jews.
–6th and D
Gamer kid: Yeah, I was in DC this weekend with the Pope… Yeah, I saw that muthafucka.
–218th & Park Terrace West
Overheard by: Kelley
Old lady, about young girl: Oh, she looks nice. She’s wearing Pope shoes.
–Carmine St
Overheard by: arctinus
Staten Island chick to friend: Remember when we got off at this stop because some guy lied to us and told us we were in Brooklyn?
Uninterested friend to random guy next to her: I like your shoes.
–Brooklyn Bound 4 Train
Overheard by: Emma
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet.
–Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint
