Shoot

Carnie: Come play Shoot the Freak! What d’ya come to Coney Island for, to swim in dirty water?

–Boardwalk, Coney Island

Overheard by: Jena

Guy: Shut up and never call me again, you freak.

–56th & 13th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: bobby

Peddler: Coney Island Freak Show t‑shirts! It’s the new Gucci!

–Siren Music Fest, Coney Island

Overheard by: Sinestro

Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.
College kid: Uh…

–49th & 3rd

11‐year‐old boy #1 playing with toy gun: You fucked my mom in the ass! [Makes shooting noises, then ducks.]11-year-old boy #2, nervous, to perplexed passerby: Uhhh, he wasn’t talking to you…

–10th & 7th, Park Slope

Overheard by: ian

Voice over employee’s walkie‐talkie: Okay, I really need those guns. Anyone who has one, I need it down in bridal.

–Bed Bath & Beyond

Obnoxious woman: So I said, “motherfucker, I’m not your sister – I’m your cousin. So I will shoot you.”

–Uptown 2 Train

Large black man: If you ain’t got no bullets, you gotsta melee!

–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Zach

Wannabe hip‐hopper, trying to sell CD: It’s clean music, and I ain’t never shot no one!

–Union Square

20‐something guy on cell: They got no right to bring up that gun charge, it’s over ten years old!

–19th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Emily Davidson

Dude, after chatting to policewoman: I just have a thing for women in uniform! My mind says, “no, no, settle down,” and my penis says, “but she’s got a gun!”

–Hudson & Laight

Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago.

–34th & 7th

Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.

–33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Wade

Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Cha

Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Braincurve

Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock.

–Central Park

HS kid #1: You know what teflon is?
HS kid #2: No.
HS kid #1: It’s the stuff you coat bullets with so that they’ll pierce a bulletproof vest. 

–23rd St. & Broadway

Overheard by: M Cohn 

Crone: It’s 2:30! Shoot me, please. Why did I ever marry that man?

–Office, 36th Street

Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven’t owned an overcoat in years!
Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they’ll shoot you! It means you’re a bank robber.

–Madison Ave & 43rd

Girl #1 (about girl #2’s ex): But would you shoot him?
Girl #2: Yeah. Wellll… Maybe not in the face. I mean, I don’t know if I would have the heart to, like, shoot him. At least not in the face. But I would stab him. Definitely I would stab him. No questions asked.

–N Train

Overheard by: Thea Colton

JAP #1: Isn’t The Pursuit of Happyness an action movie? Because he needs money–
JAP #2: –Not all black people need to shoot people for money.

–Lehman College cafeteria

Overheard by: can’t breathe