Girl #1 (about girl #2's ex): But would you shoot him?
Girl #2: Yeah. Wellll… Maybe not in the face. I mean, I don't know if I would have the heart to, like, shoot him. At least not in the face. But I would stab him. Definitely I would stab him. No questions asked.
–N Train
Overheard by: Thea Colton
JAP #1: Isn’t The Pursuit of Happyness an action movie? Because he needs money–
JAP #2: –Not all black people need to shoot people for money.
–Lehman College cafeteria
Overheard by: can’t breathe
Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?"
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda R.
10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many guns have you ever held?
–5 Train
Middle aged white man in shorts: Anyone awake at 2 am should be shot!
–LIRR
Overheard by: L.C.
Street performer, trying to move crowd: Okay, let's try this! White people, we are not dangerous! (lifts shirt, pats down sides) We are unarmed! Step closer!
–W 45th & 5th
Man on phone: Right. Right. Wait, what? (in shock) He don't got a gun? Well, he has to have a gun! What kinda game do you think this is?
–J Train
Army dude to friends: People shoot at me every once in awhile. Do I get tipped? No, fuck tips!
–Havanna's Bar
Girl #1: Didn’t Tupac kill himself?
Girl #2: Ummm, definitely not. He was shot.
Girl #1: Oh. That’s unfortunate.
–Lower East Side
Girl #1: So then he shot his dad, because his dad was beating on his mom.
Girl #2: Okay.
Girl #1: Um, it’s sort of okay, but it sort of isn’t.
–B train
Guy: Yeah, well, he’s a big fan of the cadaver tissue.
–Washington Heights
Lady on cell: My god he killed everyone last night. He first sat on her then started to beat on her. Then she got up and started beating on him.
–West Broadway & Chambers
Fat Hispanic woman: I don’t know, I just haven’t been using my gun lately.
–Fort Greene
Angry teen on cell: I'm not gonna pay 18 dollars for a wedgie!
–Lingerie Department, Macy's
Overheard by: me neither
Girl on cell: I don't have a problem with camping, but why do they have to give me a sleeping bag? Can't they give me linens? It's not like I'm not giving them an insignificant amount of money.
–W Broadway & Grand
Suit on cell: At first I was only making $30,000 a year, but last year I got shot in the foot, and then I got a $1,000 bonus, so now I'm making $32,000 a year. Shit!
–F Train
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Loud woman on cell: I like and don't mind fucking you, but I need to get paid. I'm unemployed right now.
–108th & Broadway
Elevator operator for observatory, upon leaving: Please come again! We want your money.
–Empire State Building
Old guy in dark suit to young guy in dark suit: You're not embezzling money!
–48th & 8th
Train conductor: This is New York Penn Station. New York Penn. For those of you who are just waking up, this is Penn Station. If you are supposed to get off at New York Penn, wake up and get off now! (train leaves) Those of you who are just waking up: if you were supposed to get off at New York Penn Station, you just missed it! I told you to get up!
–Amtrak Train
College guy: Last night I woke up on an oriental rug and I had no idea where I was.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Hispanic lady: Quiet down, some people are trying to sleep!
–6 Train
Man to friend: She can sleep in the closet.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wait what?
Loud pharmaceutical salesman to doctor: They say that New York is the city that never sleeps, right? You know why? You know why? Herpes!
–Doctor's Office, Astoria
Woman on cell: So I walked into a room and she's there, chained to a chair. And he had a gun, pointing it at me, saying he was gonna shoot me. Then I started crying. And he fucking shot her. (people on bus look worried) And then I woke up.
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: trev
Drunk thug, reflecting on his baby-mama's new man: I love motherfuckin' guns, and that's the bottom line, but I don't wanna go to jail.
–Bar, Cortelyou Road
Boy to limping blonde struggling to keep up: Oh my god, if you were a horse I would shoot you.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: The Game
Father to two small children, pulling them away from the register: C'mon, guys. Let's go before mommy shoots herself.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th & Broadway
Loud black girl: It's Manhattan, I don't have to worry about getting shot.
–NYU
Guy on cell: Hey man, aren't you tired of being shot?
–Queens Center Mall
Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs.
–W 72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Naomi Choy Smith
Little old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs!
–Broome & Essex
Old guy: I'm going out for a smoke. If you see someone take this jacket, shoot to kill.
–Starbucks
Old man with beard, hunched over walker, watching couple holding hands: You two been doin' the nasty, ain't ya?
–27th & Broadway
Old black lady in wheelchair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body?
–Bowery
Overheard by: Lauren
Very old man to another, in thick New York accent: Ya gotta take it…and put it on ya rectum like this. (demonstrates with hand gesture)
–53rd St & 10th Ave
Elderly gentleman to another: From now on, you will obey me!
–Carnegie Hall
