Chick #1 overlooking the Women’s Wheelchair finals: Are they over there playing tennis in wheelchairs?
Chick #2: Yeah, I think they are.
Chick #1: Oh, please, you know they’re pushing those chairs with their feet.
–US Open, Queens
Overheard by: Working on my backhand
Teen guy: My math teacher says that I should learn this stuff since it’s going to be useful, but I told her, ‘When I go to college, I’m majoring in Lacrosse.’ The coach can hire a tutor for anything else they want me to do.
–Amtrak train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Lacrosse-titute
Conductor: Fourth avenue. Transfer here to the R train on the lower level. The time is 6:36. The score is five-four, Mets. Thank you for riding MTA New York City Transit.
–F stop, 4th Ave
Overheard by: mili
Conductor: And don’t forget, you heard it here first: Yankees, five, Detroit, two. Mets… more than the other team. Anyone knows who the other team is, that’s good. Mets gonna have more runs than the other team. Next stop, 34th street.
–Downtown A train
Overheard by: Pebbles
Woman on cell: Well, I’m sorry if my commitment to the Mets is not all you had hoped it would be!
–2nd Ave & 82nd St
Overheard by: aislinn
Yankees fan: So they found Lidle’s passport… Did they find his pitching arm?
–53rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: tragedy + 2 minutes = comedy
Guy: This goddamn fucking son of a bitch! Darryl Strawberry just stole a thousand dollars from me!
–Office, 30th St
Overheard by: Bagel
B&T girl: I hate sports. I mean, I don’t even know what’s going on down there.
–On line for Slate
Overheard by: acep
Guy #1: It’s like catcher and receiver.
Guy #2: No, no. It’s pitcher and catcher. Like football.
–B-Sides, Ave B & 12th St
Overheard by: Creiighton
Man: I’ll give you 10 bucks if you can tell me what baseball team is popular in Philly.
Woman: Duh, it’s the Red Sox! …What? Boston is in Philly.
Man: Sweetie, Boston isn’t in Philly.
Woman: Don’t lie to me, you know how easy I fall for things!
Man: But Boston is in Massachusetts.
Woman: That’s what I said!
–E 23rd St & Lex
Overheard by: Lisa
Little boy: Do you play basketball?
Black man: Yes I do.
Little boy: Do you play for the Knicks?
Boy’s mom: Yes, professional basketball players spend their time off doing sudoku puzzles on the subway. Let’s go.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Allisa
Conductor: Last stop, Grand Central Terminal. Remember, don’t drink and drive, but if you are going to take the train, drink ’til you go blind. Have a nice evening.
–Metro North, Grand Central
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. Next stop, uh… Franklin… naw, that’s not it. Well, let’s go.
–Brooklyn bound R train
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Conductor, to woman standing halfway in the motorman’s booth flirting with him: Wanna drive?
–7 train
Overheard by: Margarita
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this is not roll call. This is not Mickey Mouse roll call. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–4 train, Wall St
Overheard by: Pandora
Conductor: Please step in and watch the closing doors… Sir. Move your stuff out of the doors so I can close them! Motherfucker gonna make me late… gonna make us all late!
–Queens bound R train
Overheard by: Jay Kay
Conductor: We are now approaching 161st Street, Yankee Stadium. If you’re not getting off here, you should. Go see the second half of the Boston Massacre. Have a good day.
–Uptown 4 train
Overheard by: Helena the Great
Conductor: There is no V train service on the weekends. Get on this train. I repeat, there is no V train service on the weekends. What are you waiting for? Just get on my train!
–Downtown E train
Overheard by: tyler ann
WASP: Do you know if they’re putting on an express train for the US Open?
Tourist: Um, no, but that’s where I’m going, too.
WASP: I know, that’s why I asked you.
Tourist: How did you know that’s where I’m going?
WASP: Because you’re white. Why else would you be going to Queens?
–7 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Tennis Fan
Chick #1: You know what today is a perfect day for?
Chick #2: Shopping?
Chick #1: No. Gaelic football!
–87th & 2nd
Police cruiser stops on 8th Ave by a group of black teens.
Loudspeaker: What are you doing there?
Black teens: [inaudible]Loudspeaker: OK, but no hands.
One teen takes three long strides and leaps on top of a mailbox, wobbles precariously, touches one finger on a wobble, and stands straight up.
Loudspeaker: Used your hands.
–34th & 8th
Sports enthusiast: Man, that guy was queerer than a football bat.
–40th & 6th
Queer enthusiast: My son can play football, but only if he’s gay…Because, well, at least he’d be gay.
–The Cloisters
