That’s the Third Time This Week

Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]Cashier: Did that really just happen?

–27th & 5th

Posted on March 16, 2015
Bimbettes, Cashiers, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fakes, Friends, Fruit, Idiots, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Race, Students, Stupidity

Don’t You Love Learning New Things?

Student #1: I met a guy on craigslist for “no strings attached” sex.
Student #2: Yeah? Was he weird, or was it fine?
Student #1: He was my TA from one of my classes last year.
Student #2: That’s the epitome of awkward turtle.

–Union Square

Posted on March 15, 2015
Default, Education, Internet, Questions, Sexuality, Students, Union Square and East Village

Not As Rough As Being Covered in Body Lice

Hobo: Yo, yo, you think you got problems? I’m homeless! I ain’t got no money, I ain’t got no food, I’m hungry! I ain’t got nothin. You think you got problems? Yo, what’s your problem?
Guy: I’m in law school, I have finals.
Hobo: Sorry, that’s rough.

–Bond Street between Schermerhorn & Livingston, Brooklyn

Posted on March 15, 2015
Brooklyn, Gripes, Hobos, Students

And Apply to Cornell

Pompous guy: So, what do you guys do in non-honors chemistry?
Bored girl: Hit each other on the head. With rocks.

–Stuyvesant High

Posted on March 15, 2015
Education, Students, Stuyvesant

I Assume K-Fed Is Somehow Involved

Private school teen #1: So, did you understand what our Current Issues teacher was talking about with, like, that guy Dick Cheney and the speech he gave on NBC or something?
Private school teen #2: Oh, you mean that drag queen who spoke out against AIDS?
Private school teen #1: Yeah! I think that’s what she’s talking about.

–Union Square

Posted on March 14, 2015
Politics, Students, Union Square and East Village

The George Strait Enema Ain’t All That

Guy: They’re George Strait jeans.
Girl: I love George Strait. He’s a hottie.
Guy: He only gives his name to the best.
Girl: Didn’t he give his name to that tractor place?
Guy: It must have been the best tractor.

–NYU Law commons area, W. 3rd St.

Overheard by: Micah Prude

Posted on March 13, 2015
Clothing, Compliments, Fashionistas, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Names, NYU, Students

American Existentialism in Action

College chick throwing down Waiting for Godot: I just don’t get this play at all.
College dude: You want me to teach you to play Minesweeper?

–JFK

Posted on March 12, 2015
Books & Writing, Computer, JFK Airport, Students, Stupidity

Comic Books May Have Given You Some Unrealistic Expectations

Japanese student/tourist seemingly waiting for luggage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman waiting for luggage: Just for one night. I'm here for a conference and then I'm flying back tomorrow.
Japanese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tuesday.
Woman: That's nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japanese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.

–JFK Airport