Stupidity

Law professor: Sometimes you just want to tell your client, "Wake the fuck up!"

–NYU Law School

Law student on cell: Well, it's hard to locate them, since I don't know who they are.

–Columbia Law School

Overheard by: arctinus

Older looking woman on cell: No, don't fight him, Henry. We're Jewish. God gave us lawyers for a reason.

–42nd & Avenue of the Americas

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Awesome judge: If you do not have a basic understanding of the English language, you will not be able to serve. If you cannot understand what I'm saying, please come up now. Now, two translators will translate what I just said. If you understood what I said, obviously don't come up here.

–Supreme Court Building

Suit to girl: You must be a lawyer. (pause) Or a cunt.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: How did he know?

Thug: Don't say anything to her! Don't you know anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law?

–132nd & St. Nicholas

Drunk lawyer on phone: Yeah! I convict rape victims.

–Outside Shea Stadium

B&T girl: Oh my god, is that Kramer?
B&T guy: Oh yeah, hey, I think it is.
Man: That’s Elliott fucking Gould.

–Katz’s Deli, Houston Street

Chick #1: Well, I wouldn’t mind posing in a cadaver.
Chick #2: Yeah, I know that…

–30th & Lexington

Overheard by: Indomitus

Girl #1: Oh my God, we are all wearing the same shirts!
Girl #2: We are all in the volleyball team.
Girl #3: Shut up.

–L train

Overheard by: Karen

50-something lady to 30-something daughter: I really want Japanese food.
30-something daughter: Where do you wanna go?
50-something lady: I see Japanese people in that restaurant. It must be sushi… what's it called?
30-something daughter: Nick's Pizza.

–Fortest Hills

Overheard by: Godzirra

Hipster #1: I know that I should know this, but when did Castro die or get overthrown?
Hipster #2: Uh, he’s still in power.
Hipster #1: Oh, that explains why it’s still illegal for us to travel to Cuba.
Hipster #2: Yeah.

—Motorcycle Diaries showing, Brooklyn Art Museum

Lady #1: Excuse me, do you have nine quarters for a dollar?
Lady #2: Nine quarters? Do I look like an idiot?!

–Times Square

Student #1: How long have you been here?
Student #2: I live here for four years.
Student #1: Your English is perfect! What is your native language?
Student #2: I speak Thai. Your English is fine, too. You are from Trinadad, right? What is your native language?
Student #1: English.

–FIT library

Girl #1: You know, I’ve never met a gay person that wasn’t West Indian.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah. You know [Toby] in the office? He came in today and asked me how much time off he could get when he gets married to his boyfriend.
Girl #2: But he’s bald!…And he’s not West Indian.
Girl #1: Oh yeah.

–3 train

Girl #1: He’s just self-conscious.
Girl #2: Conscious about what?!
Girl #1: … Himself.

–Original Pizza, Bay Ridge & 4th

Overheard by: Patrick