Man: Hey, do you have any whistles? You know — the kind that shut people up when you blow them?
Clerk: No.
Man: Fuck!
–47th & Broadway
Man: Hey, do you have any whistles? You know — the kind that shut people up when you blow them?
Clerk: No.
Man: Fuck!
–47th & Broadway
20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts.
–9th Ave & 45th St
Overheard by: Serena
Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon.
–Hunter College High School
Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin?
–Citi Bar
Overheard by: Lulu
20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together.
–Locker Room, Crunch Gym
Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'"
–5th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Sue
Girl: …yeah, so everyone has to go dressed as something that starts with a P.
Illiterate: I’ll go dressed up as a lion!
–Astoria
Overheard by: Lola
Girl #1: You never told me that. I didn’t agree to any of that!
Girl #2: I know! I’m like… Who’s the chick who started the Trojan War? You know, with the big horses?
Girl #1: Cleopatra?
Girl #2: I’m like fuckin’ Cleopatra!
–NYU
Overheard by: PK
Guy #1: I told the manager they need to start recycling.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Cuz they don't recycle.
Guy #2: So what!?
–41st & 7th
Girl: If she were dead, she would have called, right?
–83rd & York
Overheard by: Will
Suit: Well see, I’ve always either been single or in a relationship.
–Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: McGins
Guy on cell: Yeah, what he said made us sound stupid. But it made me sound even stupider!
–Broadway & Bleecker
Overheard by: jillypickle
Girl on cell: Hello? No, you have the wrong number…Hello? No, I told you you had the wrong number. What are you, illiterate?
–M train
Overheard by: Jane
Guy: Yo, I never knew Dean Koontz wrote books in Spanish. He’s mad smart! And Bill Clinton, too!
–Barnes & Noble libros en espanol section, Union Square
McChick: Would you like that “with cheese”, or without “with cheese”?
–McDonald’s, 44th and Lex
Man: Oh shit, it’s raining outside too?
–Office, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Colin F.
Idiot girl #1: Cloves taste so good!
Idiot guy: Yeah, I hear they are toasted or something.
Idiot girl #2: Oh, I love toast!
–33 Washington Square West
Guy #1: I think I’d come in third.
Guy #2: Why third? Why not first or second?
Guy #1: I don’t know, I probably don’t have the biggest, but it isn’t the smallest either, so I figured third.
Guy #3: Wait, then whose dick do you think is the smallest?
Guy #1: I don’t fucking know! I just don’t think I have the smallest, so I’m sure I beat one of you motherfuckers.
Guy #4: Dude, sounds like you got a small dick.
–24th & Lexington
Overheard by: paul10003
Yankee fan, seeing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!
Red Sox girl's friend: Leave her alone! She's hot! Leave her alone!
Yankee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!
Red Sox girl's friend: She's got big boobs, leave her alone!
Yankee fan: I've seen boobs before! Booo!
(later)
Yankee fan: Red Sox suck! Booo!
Red Sox girl's friend: Leave her alone, she's hot!
Yankee fan: That's your opinion! Booo!
–Yankee Stadium
Lesbian chick #1: …so that’s why I’m in favor of putting birth control in the water.
Lesbian chick #2: How does that work?
Lesbian chick #1: What do you mean? You just put it in the water.
Lesbian chick #2: But what if they don’t go in the water?
Lesbian chick #1: …no, the drinking water.
Lesbian chick #2: Oh. That makes more sense. Sorry, I don’t know how those straight people do these things.
–F train
