Husband: (smiles).
Angry wife (crossing her arms as she crosses the street): Shut up. I want you to walk 12 steps behind me.
Husband (putting his arms up making it look like he's praising god): Hallelujah!
–St. Benedicts Church, Bronx
Overheard by: nikki q
Young earnest female: I don't care what that Palin bitch says… I mean, she is hot… like I would do her if her old man bailed on her.
Young bored female friend: You don't got no sense. She does frickin' moose, elk or animals and things.
Young earnest female: Men does sheep, why not women?
Young bored female friend: You ain't got the equipment, for one thing…
–Pelham Stop 3
Overheard by: Deder
Thug on cell: Yo, hearse rent a car? Yo man, I need to rent a hearse. Yeah, I'll hold. (pause) Y'all don't rent no hearses? Why y'all call yoselfs hearse rent a car? (pause) Word? Well, I need to move a body, maybe you got a van or something? (pause) I don't care, I just need to move his dead ass. (pause) Cargo van? Whatever. Yeah.
Thug's friend: Ask if they got am'blances.
–Grand Concourse, 158 St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Cop to another: So she said, "see ya later, alligator." To which I retorted, "in a while, crocodile."
–Cunningham Park, Queens
Girl on cell: That was the day I woke up with the pigeon in my bed!
–Christopher St
Law school chick, stopping and staring at pigeon in her path: You go girl!
–East Village
Girl on intercom: Llama needed at the Oyster Bar ramp for a spill!
–Grand Central
Suit to friend: I mean, I don't understand. If people really want to pay like $30,000 to hunt them, I don't see what the problem is.
–Bronx Zoo
Curly grey-haired middle aged crafty lady: If you let them have sex with goats, they'll leave children alone!
–Crafts Fair, Red Hook Fairway
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Construction worker taking coffee order: I don't think they have what you want at that deli.
Construction worker placing order: They have to have it. This is America, where do you think we are, Alaska?
–Construction Site, Bronx Zoo
(a child sees a man walking in clothes with skulls and bones on them)
Child: Mommy! Can I have clothes like his?
Mom: No, sweetie. Those clothes belong to an underground gang that kill people, just like in the days of Hitler and George Bush.
–Fordham Road
Overheard by: Gus
(baby is crying)
Mother: You better stop crying when I count to three. One… Two…
(baby stops crying, but starts again after a while)
Mother: I said “two!”
(baby stops crying again)
–BX9 Bus
Overheard by: Jason
Screaming man to mumbling teen: Yo, that some faggot ass shit! That's why I say, you want to suck some fuckin' dick?
–209th St & Perry Ave
Overheard by: rachel
College girl: So, I'm thinking of going to France and/or, like, Europe.
–Penn Station
Confused tourist with map: Where's Chicago? Oh, right…that's here in New York City, right?
–Times Square
Guy with map in Tribeca (pointing ahead to the south): Okay, so Central Park should be this way…
–Tribeca
Wide-eyed tourist: Oh my god, we're in Central Park! Can you believe it?
–Riverside Park
30-something zoo patron to zoo employee: I thought Madagascar was just the name of a character in that movie.
–Madagascar Exhibit, Bronx Zoo
Ten-year old girl: Can I have another baby?
Mom: Um… No…maybe two.
–W 238th & Broadway
Overheard by: Krisztina, hoping to God they're talking about dolls
