Suit #1: I think we need to sit down with Yolanda, Minetta, Julie […] and tell them, “Look, what happened yesterday can’t happen again. We need to learn more about dispatch. It’s time we had this meeting.”
Suit #2: It’s too late for a meeting.
Suit #1: Right, no, that’s what I’m saying. We don’t need a meeting, we need action.
–N train
Man on cell: Yo Hamster! Oh, hey Tomato, whats goin’ on?
–Bx12 bus
Overheard by: Courtney C
Girl on cell: I swear it had to be 8 or 9 inches long…yeah I know, I was shocked. It was the biggest damned cockroach I have ever seen…yes, a roach, what did you think I was talking about?
–Bx9 bus
Overheard by: ogie
Bus driver: Next stop 3rd Avenue. We’ll be arriving in a week to 10 days…Anyone want to get off here? That’ll be $50. Send me a check.
–M14D bus
Overheard by: Sherri
Male worker: He isn’t here today.
Woman worker: But I need him!
Man worker: But Mr. Clean ain’t here today!
Woman worker whining: When?
Man worker: Not today!
–Electra Building
Queer #1: What should we do tonight? Something fun.
Queer #2: We could pierce something?
–Starbucks, Lower East Side
Overheard by: nicolina
Blonde girl: What time is it?
Guy: Quarter to eight.
Blonde girl: (looking confused)
Guy: It's seven forty-five.
–7th & Ave A
Thug: Yo, what time you got?
20-something: It's 7:45.
Thug: Mmm, well girl… What time's your curfew?
20-something: That's the worst fucking pick up line I've ever heard.
–A Train
Older gentleman on phone: I was just calling to ask if you wanted to make love to my nice, long, Lebanese penis again tonight. (pause) Yes, yes, 10 works for me.
–45th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Morgan
Mother, hissing to girl dancing exuberantly: You stop that! Stop it! Boys will try to sex you! Stop!
–6 Train Station
Girl on cell, yelling: He got soft inside me! That's, like, the worst insult ever!
–23rd & 9th
Girl on cell: Come over to the 7-Eleven anytime. I will fuck you!
–Washington Square West
Overheard by: David Fishkind
Brunching woman to friends: We lived in Buffalo! We could have had sex on the sidewalk, but it was four years before we were engaged!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Alexandra
Girl #1: You guys only dated a month, you can't really call that a relationship.
Girl #2: Well, I wanted to marry him.
Girl #1: I hate when that happens.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Middle-aged lady: I wear makeup on Sundays. I like to look good on the Lord’s day.
–135th & Madison
Overheard by: Kate
Woman: Monday is the new Friday.
–11 Penn Plaza
Guy on cell: … So let’s just go ahead with the Tuesday night cripple hunt.
–Grand St & Bedford Ave
Conductor: This stop is Jay Street-Borough Hall. You can transfer here across the platform to the A and C trains, which you can take uptown to Columbus Circle and on up to 168th Street. Be sure to take your stuff with you when you go, and have a great Wednesday here in the middle of the week.
–F train
Overheard by: … or maybe she was stoned
40-something lady to another: … Then I told him, ‘Nevermind the bruises, I just had liposuction last Thursday.’
–Broadway, just below Houston
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, I won’t be there if you’re going to be doing all that religious stuff… Aren’t you, like, castrating a duck or something? … Oh, okay, well I’ll be there on Friday, then.
–By the tram
Drunk girl #1: Oh my God I so know what you are talking about! Wait, you guys were talking about anal sex right?
Drunk girl #2: Uh no, we stopped talking about guys ten minutes ago.
–Red Sky, E. 29th Street
