The Guerrilla Marketing of Wednesday One-Liners

Man handing out free demos: You want a CD? It's free! It's really good! It's me! (passersby ignore him) Fine, but when I die you cannot wear a t-shirt with my face on it!

–Broadway

Overheard by: porkchop sandwiches

Guy promoting comedy club: It costs less than a movie and we'll get you drunk!

–7th & 40th

Overheard by: Erin

Guy at stall: We're slashing prices today! Today's the anniversary of Lorena Bobbit!

–Street Fair, Washington Square North

Guy selling perfume: Ladies, buy one and get my number free!

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: Denah

Man advertising standup comedy event: Comedy and alcohol for all you miserable bastards out there!

–Broadway

Man selling tickets to a comedy club: I hate my job! Come get drunk! Sell tickets! Sell tickets! Drinks! Drunk! Come get druuuunk!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on July 30, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Flyer people, Free stuff!, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Music, Musicians, Offers and requests, Shopping, Street, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Washington Heights and Inwood

Still Think Only Women Play That Game?

Five-year-old son: I’m mad at you.
Mom: Why honey?
Five-year-old son: Because you wouldn’t buy me an umbrella!
Mom: You never asked for one!

–Times Square Shuttle

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on July 24, 2008
Boys, Default, Gripes, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Times Square, Wishes & desires

Drink Deep, or Taste Not the Wednesday One-Liners!

Fabulous woman: That’s all vodka under the bridge.

–55 Bar

Overheard by: Girl Margaret

Huge man to small child trying to participate in conversation: No, son, we’re not talking about your school–we’re talking about Bam! You trying to get all up in the Kool-Aid, but you don’t even know the flavor.

–C Train

Drunk girl, accidentally taking swig of vodka instead of water: This wetness is spicy!

–Bergen St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Gnomies

Skinny teen: I wish they made diet water.

–Times Square

JAP: I’d like a Pellegrino.

–Hooters

Middle-aged suit yelling into cell: No- I want to see you drink the bong water!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Me Too…

Posted on July 23, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Drunks, Girls, JAPs, On Cell, On the Subway, Port Authority, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Skinny People, Suits, Teens, Times Square, West Village, Women

And That Kind Of Fucked-Up I’m Reluctant to Discuss

Little boy looking at photos being sold on street: Why do they call it Gay Street?
Dad: They got all kinds of fucked up names for streets in this city.

–Times Square

Overheard by: R

Posted on July 15, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Names, NYC Geography, Questions, Times Square, Words

Wednesday One-Liner Are Better Than “Teen Spirit”

Lively black man: My sense of smell is back. I can smell pussy again!

–LIRR

Overheard by: meg

Black girl on cell: …you know it smells like straight bootymeat!

–Times Square

Overheard by: patrick

Obese black woman wearing skin-tight World’s #1 Dad t-shirt: This train smells like urine.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: World’s #2 Dad

Guy on cell: Baby, all I’m saying is when you came home last night, you smelled like another dude!

–107th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: HuntingSnark

Woman to male friend: I’ll just have to call you "anus breath" from now on.

–Jewish Theological Seminary, 122nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: Sticking to mouthwash from now on

Woman: I smell dick. (licks her hand, sniffs it) Sho ’nuff!

–R Train

Posted on July 9, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Fat People, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Happiness, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Men, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, Pee, Public Transportation, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Weirdness, Women

And the McDonald’s Down the Block Has Fajitas Now

Tourist to desk clerk: We are looking for some good authentic Mexican food, do you recommend the little place next door?
Desk clerk: No, if you want real Mexican food, there’s a Chipotle around the corner.

–Comfort Inn, Times Square

Posted on June 29, 2008
Advice, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Default, Ethnic Food, Hotels, Questions, Times Square, Tourists

Further Inquiry Will Not Enhance Your Dining Experience

Corpulent tourist: What kind of hot dogs do you have?
Annoyed vendor: Hot dogs!

–Times Square

Overheard by: kat

Posted on June 26, 2008
Default, Junk Food & Fast Food, Questions, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers

I Thought I Was Rocking Your World

Woman: I don’t think you’re supposed to eat things that are inflamed.
Man (with wide-eyed horror): It was… inflamed?

–Starbucks, Times Square

Posted on June 21, 2008
Advice, Default, Food, Men, Questions, Starbucks, Times Square, Women, Words

So She Managed to Drive Over to His Place Without Incident

Girl #1: So did Michelle* go out with Tom* yet?
Girl #2: She’s not Asian.

–Times Square

Posted on June 21, 2008
Dating, Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Race, Times Square, Weirdness

…I’m Still Vibrating

Frat guy #1: You know, I’m trying to remember when I last heard something that obvious.
Frat guy #2: Probably when that tank you picked up told you she owned sex toys.
Frat guy #1: Dude!

–Times Square

Posted on June 20, 2008
Default, Diet/Weight, Dildos and Vibrators, Frat Boys, Friends, Physical appearance, Times Square