Wednesday One-Liners: Over a Billion Served.

McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Blayne

Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?

–117th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jesse D

Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.

–W 49th & 5th

Overheard by: canucks

Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!

–Broadway & 4th St

Overheard by: Jalex Leoley

Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!

–Staten Island Ferry

Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: alana h.

Posted on August 19, 2009
Cars and Driving, Cashiers, Christians, Church, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Dating, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Laughter, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Movies, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Southerners, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Tourism, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

Why Do You Think So Many Post-apocalyptic Thrillers Are Filmed in New York?

Southern tourist daughter: Mommy, why can't we just get off at Jamaica? Aren't there sunny beaches there? Why's it all so cloudy?
Southern tourist mother: Because we're on the subway to go to the Liberty Statue tour, honey bunches.
(short pause)
Southern tourist daughter: But why's everything so damaged?

–LIRR

Posted on August 17, 2009
Families, Moms, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Statue of Liberty, Stupidity, Tourism, Trains Not Subway, Weather

Long Island Expressway: Nobody Gets Me

Midwestern tourist to New York businesswoman: Is this where I can get the Long Island expressway?
Businesswoman, exasperated: Are you *fucking* kidding me?

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Kiki

Posted on August 17, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, Grand Central, Insults, Midwesterners, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Suits, Tourism, Train Station

They Never Found It

Tourist #1: Wow, this is beautiful!
Tourist #2: Yeah, it is. Now if we could only find Central Park.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Roxie

Posted on August 13, 2009
Beauty, Central Park, NYC Geography, Parks, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

White People Often See the Policeman As Their Friend

Lost tourist lady: Ooooh, look, there's a nice policeman!
Transit cop, cracking up: No, I'm a meeeean policeman, a baaaad policeman. Some people even call me unpleasant. But I'll point ya to where ya wanna go.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Officer Friendly?

Posted on August 10, 2009
Cops, Directions, Penn Station, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

Or in Your Case, Las Vegas

Tourist to MTA employee: Do you have a map of, like the touristy places?
MTA employee: Yes.
Tourist: That will show us like, the Eiffel Tower and stuff?
MTA employee: The Eiffel Tower is in France.

–57th Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Elise

Posted on August 2, 2009
Clerks, Global Geography, Questions, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Tourism, Tourists

I'm Thinking the Mushrooms Were a Mistake, Though

Tourist #1: This must be it, it says “Greyhound” right there!
Tourist #2: It looks under construction. Is it safe to go in?
Tourist #1: I don't know… I'm afraid.

–42nd & 8th

Overheard by: unfortunately thats just how it looks

Posted on August 2, 2009
Fears, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

That Should Be on a Sign at the Airport

Tourist counting her group, which is clogging sidewalk: Carla? Has anyone seen Carla? Okay, Marie? Marie?
Passerby, interrupting: First, let me thank you for visiting our city. We appreciate it. Second, get out of the fucking way.

–Broadway & Canal

Posted on July 31, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Insults, Only in New York, Questions, Strangers, Tourism, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

That's Why Cities Are Comparable to Pop-Up Books

Obvious tourist #1: I love it when you step out of the train station, and it's like… Bam! City!
Obvious tourist #2: Yeah. City life.

–Amtrak Train

Overheard by: broken headphones

Headline by: limescentedguy

Runners-Up:
· “I Hear Prison’s the Same Way” – time served
· “Or It’s Like … Bam! Gunshot!” – emeril
· “That’s Not the City, That’s Chuck Norris” – Matt M.
· “Then BAM! You’ve Been Mugged.” – Fresca P.
· “Tourist, The Other White Meat” – Stick’em Up
· “Two Weeks Later They Finally Found Their Way Out Of Penn Station” – BabakganoosH

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 20, 2009
Headline Contest Winners, Public Transportation, Tourism, Tourists, Trains Not Subway

Everything They Know About Harlem They Learned from Denzel Washington Movies

Ozzie #1, leaving bar: We should like, go to church tomorrow.
Ozzie #2: Like in Harlem?
Ozzie #1: Yes! Church there is awesome!

–7th St & Ave A

Overheard by: AgnosticLocal

Posted on July 18, 2009
Alphabet City, Church, Foreigners, NYC Geography, Questions, Tourism

Tourism