Teen tourist: How much for the sunglasses?
Vendor: Thirty dollars.
Teen tourist: In Chinatown?!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Ozzy
Teen tourist: How much for the sunglasses?
Vendor: Thirty dollars.
Teen tourist: In Chinatown?!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Ozzy
Japanese student/tourist seemingly waiting for luggage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman waiting for luggage: Just for one night. I'm here for a conference and then I'm flying back tomorrow.
Japanese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tuesday.
Woman: That's nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japanese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.
–JFK Airport
Tourist #1: Ha! Look at her, she’s trying to look just like Bernadette Peters.
Tourist #2: That is Bernadette Peters and she heard you. Can we go now?
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: A tourist who’s not clueless.
Passenger: Is there any shops in the city that sell Statue of Liberty souvenir statues?
Cabbie: Yeah, I think there may be a shop that sells those right in Times Square.
–Times Square cab
Overheard by: John Aubin
Suburbanite: Excuse me, officer, how do I get to Grand Central?
Bored transit cop: You see that S train over there? Take it 2 stops.
Suburbanite: Thank you!
–Subway Tunnel, Grand Central
Rushed New Yorker shoving through tour group: Excuse me, excuse me…
Tour guide: Don't worry, folks, most New Yorkers aren't this rude.
Rushed New Yorker: Screw you! Yes we are, that's what everybody loves about us.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: I agree
Tourist man: Use that postcard for Bill and Lisa*.
Tourist woman: Ugh, I’ll have to use my big writing.
–Starbucks
Tourist: I read about this place in that New York book I got from the library.
Guy in line: Did it also tell you that when it's a full moon everything is half off?
Tourist to friend: Dude! We should just both get the large, then.
Friend: I love this town and its little quirks like this.
–Gray's Papaya
Female tourist: Look–he just gave the other driver the finger!
Male tourist: Isn't that just like saying “hi” in New York?
–72nd St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Gazoo
Tourist boyfriend: What’s Avenue Q?
Tourist girlfriend: Well, in New York City there’s a place called Alphabet City, and that’s where they have Avenues A through Z.
–Dylan Prime, Tribeca
Overheard by: rebecca marie
Headline by: Jessica Bessica
Runners-Up:
· “And Spamalot Is This City in England.” – SAtCW
· “It’s Basically a Concentration Camp for Puppets” – Mikey G.
· “It’s Right Next to Some Giant Apple” – Kelsey
· “No Tourist Left Behind” – sara
· “Ok, Can You Take Your Hand Out Of My Ass Now?” – sherman
