Wednesday One-Liners Get Swept Away in Masses Of Humanity

Tourist: Hey look, it's 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?!

Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green!

–Times Square Shuttle Platform

Overheard by: D-Law

Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared?

–Rockefeller Center

Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas!

–F Train

Overheard by: Matt

Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues.

–The Cloisters, Harlem

Overheard by: M@

Posted on April 26, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Broadway Shows, Colors, Dads, Directions, Harlem & Morningside Heights, NYC Geography, On the Subway, One-liners, Port Authority, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Um, Have You Seen “Sex and the City”?

Gay man: And over here, I like to call it “shoe street,” cuz they have shoe after shoe after shoe after shoe store!
Tourist: They have shoes in New York?

–M8 Bus

Overheard by: They Have Shirts Here, TOO!!

Posted on April 19, 2015
On the Bus, Queer guys, Questions, Shoes, Shopping, Tourism, Tourists

I Need an ATM, Bitchy McSarcasm

Tourist #1: Oooh, let’s go in here!
Tourist #2: That’s a bank, you moron.

–Bank of America, Times Square

Overheard by: Allisa

Posted on April 12, 2015
Assholes, Bank, Idiots, NYC Geography, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

And a Nazi Wouldn’t Hail a Cab Of Color

Little tourist boy: Mommy! Look, that lady is a Nazi!
Frazzled tourist mom: What? Oh… Honey, that nice lady is hailing a cab, not Hitler.

–Bowery

Posted on April 7, 2015
Boys, Cars and Driving, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Parents, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

Where's a Wednesday One-Liner When You Need One?

Cop: Man, I'm computer illiterate… That's why the NYPD is perfect for me.

–Police Precinct, Bronx

Overheard by: afrocurl

Cop car to man in the street, after using sirens: How stupid are you? Move out of the way!
(crowd cheers)

–Thompson & Bleecker

Overheard by: onlycoolcop

Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrian: What are you doing!?

–Houston & Broadway

Woman with missing teeth, grabbing tourist and yelling: I'm not a cop! I'm a ho!

–42nd & 8th

Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism

Posted on April 4, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Computer, Cops, Education, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Questions, Strangers, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, The Village, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-liners v. Mapquest

Tourist girl: Where’s Macy’s?

–Ground Zero

Posted on April 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Directions, Ground Zero, Tourists

Wednesday One-liners Hit the Premiere

Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.

–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street

Posted on April 2, 2015
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Celebrities Overheard, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Fordham, Friendship, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Movies, Music, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Poop, Pop Culture, Preppies, Queers, Stupidity, The Bronx, Thugs, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Violence

Wednesday One-Liners Would Like Fries With That

Very large man, pointing at a McDonald’s: Where were you last night at 3 a.m. when I was craving you?

–49th & 9th

Man wearing an “I Heart My Heart” shirt, to guy eating fast food: You’re just aching for that heart attack, aren’t you?

–46th & Broadway

Angry burger flipper: Making Big Macs is complex. It’s 2 all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun…And then it gets even more confusing, ’cause people all have their special requests, like no special sauce. And that just throws shit off. The Whopper is so easy. It don’t have shit on us.

–M11 bus

Asian girl, screaming into cell: I said, “Quiero Taco Bell!”

–33rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Kelsey

Foreign tourist to cabbie: How much to go to K…F…C?

–Broadway between 38th & 39th

Overheard by: Gregorio

Posted on March 31, 2015
Anger Management, Asians, Fat People, Food, Foreigners, Health and Hygiene, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, On the Bus, One-liners, People, Places, Tourists

Even the Mos Are Bigger in Texas

Girl: Did you hear about that 20 year old guy in Texas who started his own theater company?
Guy: No, I didn’t.
Girl: Really? Well you should, Mr. Texas!
Guy: Yeah, they stopped sending me the newsletter when they found out I was gay.

–Sardi’s, W. 44th Street

Posted on March 28, 2015
Jobs & Careers, Queer guys, Queers, Theater & Dance, Tourists

Is There a Secret Spell Which Causes It to Emerge?

Male European tourist: Excuse me, where can we find the subway?
New Yorker: Which subway do you want?
Female European tourist: The one that is on this corner.

–Broadway & Houston

Posted on March 25, 2015
Directions, Eurotrash, NYC Geography, Public Transportation, Questions, Soho, Tourism, Tourists

Tourists