Tour guide: If you’re going to be in New York for at least a year, I’d recommend going to an outer borough.

–Bowling Green

Woman, looking at dirty man talking on cell with shirt open: That, that right there, oh, yes, that is sooo New York.

–Worth & Broadway

Overheard by: Half Shirt

Office worker: We’ve lived in New York too long. Instead of saying “ridiculously overpriced” we say “upscale.”

–Office, Carnegie Hall

Overheard by: inge

Crazy man: The subways have names and letters and numbers. They are not colors. Don’t you dare call them by colors. They have names and letters and numbers. The 4 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Express. The 6 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Local. An idiot in Brooklyn asks for the orange train at King’s Highway. It is not the orange train. It is the F train. He should be deported to Mars for calling it the orange train! The trains have names and letters and numbers! And you never call 6th Avenue the Avenue of the Americas!

–Uptown R train

Lady, amongst a crowd of women, shoving and stripping to their underwear to try on designer clothes: Oh my God! I am so not New York enough for this!

–Barney’s Warehouse Sale, 17th between 7th & 8th

Overheard by: Dr. Mary

Girl: Being a New Yorker is great. You get to give the finger to everybody and nobody seems to care. I love this city!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jen

Tourist: These people must love their sandwiches! There are so many Subways here!

–Times Square