New York 101: How to Hail a Cab

Woman: Excuse me, sir, where can I get a taxi around here?
Traffic officer: Just stand on the corner and wave your hand.

–Canal St. & Broadway

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Posted on June 4, 2015
Cops, Parks, Tourists, Travel

How Carlo Ended Up in Iraq

Confused Italian tourist: Excuse me, this go to South Ferry?
Guy: Yes. It's the last stop.
Confused Italian tourist: How I tell?
Guy: What? It's the last stop.
Confused Italian tourist: How I tell? How I know?
Guy: All the other tourists will get off! Follow the people like you.
Confused Italian tourist: No! How I tell!
Guy: That guy with the camera… follow him!

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Spoke Italian but was feeling unhelpful

Posted on June 2, 2015
Directions, Guys, Italians, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

Don’t We Own the Internet?

Wealthy tourist man, pointing at a Starbucks: That must be one of those internet cafés.

–28th & 3rd

Overheard by: Dustin

Posted on May 31, 2015
Manhattan, Rich people, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Tourists

Not Any More

Employee pointing to wall: See the fire damage?
Tourist mom: Is this where you stash your weed?

–Cathedral of St. John the Divine

Overheard by: amused priest

Posted on May 30, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Buildings, Questions, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Tourists, Weed

The People's Republic of Wednesday One-Liners

Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!

–Museum of Natrual History

Overheard by: Heather

Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.

–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: James

Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.

–11th & 3rd

Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)

–Canal St

Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!

–Murray Hill

Overheard by: sab

Posted on May 27, 2015
Advice, Asians, Biotechs, Body Parts, Bouncers, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Chinese, Compare/Contrast, Ethnic Food, Friends, History & Geography, Insults, Laughter, Museum of Natural History, NYC Geography, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Physical appearance, Race, Street, Stupidity, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Later That Night, They Discovered a Third Thing…

Comedy club hawker: Hey, man, you like comedy?
Tourist: No.
Comedy club hawker: Yeah, me neither. I’m a lying bastard, too, so I guess we got two things in common.

–Times Square

Overheard by: heidolicious

Posted on May 26, 2015
Default, Insults, Lies, Questions, Times Square, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers

They Didn’t Really Fall, Silly… It Was a David Copperfield Stunt

Woman #1: So, where was the World Trade Center?
Woman #2: See that empty lot across the street?
Woman #1: Oh. So is that one of the buildings that fell?

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: joy

Posted on May 26, 2015
Bimbettes, Ground Zero, NYC Geography, Stupidity, Tourists

Especially After the Mandatory Sex With Strangers

Tourist choir dude: You'll have to smoke.
Tourist choir chick: No, I won't.
Tourist choir dude: Yes, you have to smoke if you live here.

–Broadway & Wall St

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Posted on May 25, 2015
Default, Girls, Guys, Musicians, Offers and requests, Only in New York, Smoking, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Ten)

Tourist in Vancouver: “I haven’t been able to find a post-office in Vancouver. Where are they?”

Waitress: “Oh, the Canadian government sold off all the post-offices, now they just have kiosks in any pharmacy, so just go to the drug store down the street.”