Tourist #1 (passing by flower display at the lobby of MoMA): What's that smell?
Tourist #2: Smells like ass in here!
–Metropolitan Musuem of Art
Tourist #1 (passing by flower display at the lobby of MoMA): What's that smell?
Tourist #2: Smells like ass in here!
–Metropolitan Musuem of Art
Tourist exiting theater (singing): You'll beeee in my heaaaart…
NYC native, hurrying through crowd: Death!
–Richard Rodgers Theater
Overheard by: office peon
Tourist: Huh, I could have sworn he'd be here!
Cop, looking around: Can I help you, miss?
Tourist: Yeah, I'm looking for a guy.
Cop: Okay?
Tourist: Should be wearing tighty whities…cowboy hat.
(cop sighs, pointing to his left)
Tourist: Thanks!
–Times Square
Old lady crossing the street waiting for cars to pass: C'mon people, shake a leg. (cars pass) Thank you very much.
–80th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Peg
Woman leading tour group across 8th Ave: Okay people, walk quickly and walk with purpose. When the red hand stops the light changes and you will be hit by a car.
–54th & 8th
Overheard by: James
Female tourist to her friend: Why is everyone crossing the street when the light is red?
–Times Square
Girl Scout in uniform: No, it's okay. You can jaywalk here!
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Marie
Woman running into middle of road waving arms: Stop, stop, I don't want to get hit. Stoppppp! (cars slow down or slam on brakes) Hahahaha…just kidding.
–Union Turnpike & Utopia Parkway, Queens
(cab turns in front of guy crossing) Guy: Hey, I'm walking here! (turns to his friend) I always wanted to say that.
–42nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Alex
Tourist: Hi, what do we need to do to join the tour?
Tour guide: Well, there's an entrance exam.
Tourist: Really?
Tour guide: No. But based on this conversation, you would've failed.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Chuckles
College girl: So, I'm thinking of going to France and/or, like, Europe.
–Penn Station
Confused tourist with map: Where's Chicago? Oh, right…that's here in New York City, right?
–Times Square
Guy with map in Tribeca (pointing ahead to the south): Okay, so Central Park should be this way…
–Tribeca
Wide-eyed tourist: Oh my god, we're in Central Park! Can you believe it?
–Riverside Park
30-something zoo patron to zoo employee: I thought Madagascar was just the name of a character in that movie.
–Madagascar Exhibit, Bronx Zoo
Tourist #1: I've been in about 40 states so far.
Tourist #2: Wow, that's like half of them!
–Central Park
Overheard by: 1f
Tourist #1: Oh, I think this is that famous intersection.
Tourist #2: Is it?
Tourist #1: Yeah, this is it.
–Times Square
Indian tourist to train conductor: How do I get to Florida from here?
Train conductor: Which part? Orlando or Miami?
–Shuttle Train, Grand Central
Overheard by: blue rock
Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.
–Metro-North Train
Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!
–Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Mike
20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!
–Times Square
Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor
