Tourist: Hi, what do we need to do to join the tour?
Tour guide: Well, there's an entrance exam.
Tourist: Really?
Tour guide: No. But based on this conversation, you would've failed.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Chuckles
Tourist: Hi, what do we need to do to join the tour?
Tour guide: Well, there's an entrance exam.
Tourist: Really?
Tour guide: No. But based on this conversation, you would've failed.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Chuckles
College girl: So, I'm thinking of going to France and/or, like, Europe.
–Penn Station
Confused tourist with map: Where's Chicago? Oh, right…that's here in New York City, right?
–Times Square
Guy with map in Tribeca (pointing ahead to the south): Okay, so Central Park should be this way…
–Tribeca
Wide-eyed tourist: Oh my god, we're in Central Park! Can you believe it?
–Riverside Park
30-something zoo patron to zoo employee: I thought Madagascar was just the name of a character in that movie.
–Madagascar Exhibit, Bronx Zoo
Tourist #1: I've been in about 40 states so far.
Tourist #2: Wow, that's like half of them!
–Central Park
Overheard by: 1f
Tourist #1: Oh, I think this is that famous intersection.
Tourist #2: Is it?
Tourist #1: Yeah, this is it.
–Times Square
Indian tourist to train conductor: How do I get to Florida from here?
Train conductor: Which part? Orlando or Miami?
–Shuttle Train, Grand Central
Overheard by: blue rock
Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.
–Metro-North Train
Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!
–Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Mike
20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!
–Times Square
Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor
Drunk guy to foreign friend: So basically everyone in the US is either Irish, Italian, or German…but there are a lot of Puerto Ricans in my neighborhood.
–L Train
Overheard by: bildita
Rockabilly-styled hipster on cell: Just take your cheap Jewish ass back to Korea Town!
–St. Mark's Place
Tourist: There are so many Chinese in this city and they all speak fucking Spanish! It blows my mind!
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl on cell: So I may be a Siamese twin…
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: evil em
Woman exiting a Subway restaurant: I feel like I just ate a Mexican immigrant.
–56th & 10th Ave
Overheard by: A Mexican
Guy on cell: I'm at the corner of West 4th Street and West 12th Street. Which sounds completely ridiculous, I know.
–Outside Cubbyhole
Girl on cell with boyfriend: Yeah, we got lost… We're somewhere in Yonkers.
–Bleecker & W 10th St
Loud tourist on cell: I'm in Rockefeller Plaza. Just look for a guy with a Starbucks cup.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: linda
Blonde on cell: Yeah, I'm in the 'hood.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman on cell, directing friend to find her: Do you see a really tall man holding an umbrella up high? I'm near a really tall man holding an umbrella. …he's very attractive.
–Concert on The Great Lawn
Overheard by: sternie
Suit on cell: Unfortunately I'm in the Financial District right now… Man, I wanna come up there and make love to both of you.
–Financial District
(family stands facing the empire state building)
Tourist son: Mom, which one is the Empire State Building?
Tourist mom: I think it's the one with the circley top. (points to the Chrysler Building)
Tourist dad: No, honey, it's the one way out there, on the water.
Tourist son #2: That's the Statue of Liberty. (to no one in paritcular) I can't believe I'm part of this fucking family.
–Top of the Rock
Overheard by: Melissa
(looking down at Washington Square Park's currently under-construction fountain)
Girl: Oh, is that where the World Trade Center used to be?
–Kimmel Center
Bensonhurst Italian guy on phone: I can't fuckin' wait for the Freedom Tower.
–Financial District
Suit on cell: Does anyone know where 9/11 is?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jeffrey
Tourist: Is this the train to 9/11?
–R Train
Confused tourist (thinking he's looking at the WTC site): Will you look at that? They put a fucking graveyard in there! I mean, what the fuck?
–St. Paul's Church, Broadway & Fulton
Tourist: My favorite is my 9/11 Santa.
–Museum Shop, 53rd b/w 5th & 6th
