Woman #1: It's a beautiful day outside.
Woman #2: I need to find a bathroom.
–Varick & Carmine
Woman #1: It's a beautiful day outside.
Woman #2: I need to find a bathroom.
–Varick & Carmine
Woman #1: Well, maybe it’ll be better next time.
Woman #2: No, there ain’t gonna be a next time, because if there is a next time, I’m gonna kick you in the head!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Duncan
Professor: They make disposable everything these days. Disposable diapers, disposable razors. They even make edible underwear, don't they? (class is silent) Yes! They do! (pause) Maybe I'm telling you more about myself than I should be…
–Wagner College
Girl: Wait, my panties!
–Franklin St
Guy on phone: I told you to take your thong off!
–60th & Columbus
Man: I do not want to know your bra size! Ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Christina M.
Guy on cell: He wore boxers and it was like, "okay, so you hang to the left…"
–W 46th St
Older gentleman to lady friend: If this keeps up, I'm going to have to start wearing underwear.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Kat
White guy to black girlfriend: God, I'm so racist.
–Canal St & Elizabeth St
Big black lady: So, have they fired that African guy yet? (laughs hysterically) Nah, you right. Mexicans won't do that shit no more!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: NewHaircut
White woman to black woman: So, tell me about your people. Do you know where they come from?
–Whitehall St & South St
Overheard by: Jon A.
White girl walking in Harlem: Dang, even the squirrels are black here!
–125th & Amsterdam
Tween: Mom, what's Negro Day?
–Neil Simon Theatre
Little blond girl to black mother: You mean we're black?
–Hudson & Barrow
Overheard by: Emily
Angry man on cell: He was a porn star, not a pianist.
–Outside Fairway, 72nd St
Goth chick on cell: We're inside. Yeah, she's playing "Creep" on a ukulele. No, I'm serious!
–Spiegelworld
Art student: I did some acid and they made me play with a guitar, but it felt like plastic and it sounded like cheese!
–Pratt Institute
Tall drummer girl: This is why I love you guys. When the drumline goes on break, they're like, "let's play some more!" When you guys go on break, you're like, "let's explore each others' bodies!"
–Pathmark
Overheard by: Another band geek
30-something African American woman: Mmm-hmm. He playin' her ass like a violin!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: KTizzle
Man in floor-length green dress to passersby: How do you know if you're having a baby? It's by the way you lift your legs!
–8th & 34th
Guy to girlfriend: Just make sure you tell me if you're on antibiotics. I already got like three babies that way.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: It's how I got mine
Large black man: She was poppin' those babies out like an Easy-Bake Oven!
–Coney Island Broadwalk
Hobo woman yelling at random pregnant woman: I told you be careful with that belly! That baby's gonna die! It gonna die!
–Broadway & Liberty
Overheard by: CG
Man talking animatedly on cell: Yeah! Don't be surprised if the baby comes out with a hairy red ass!
–Spring Street, SoHo
Middle aged woman: Your baby wouldn't stop crying, so I put my tit in his mouth.
–W 12th & W 4th
Overheard by: michael diamond
30-something lady: I officially started Weight Watchers today.
30-something guy: So does that mean you can't drink this weekend?
30-something lady: I can drink. I just can't eat all day.
–Port Authority
Professor: Fat people are often funny.
–Baruch College
Girl to friend: When she OD'ed on him, it was so funny!
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy-looking middle aged woman on cell: The funniest thing today with the kids! They slammed me to the door and one of them bit my arm and I drew blood! (pauses) Yeah, I know, I'm going back tomorrow!
–F Train
Girl: So, like my friend thought it would be funny to jump in a pool that didn't have water in it.
–8th St & Broadway
Brooklyn artist: After four or five organic vodka tonics, all the ironic hairstyles in the bar start to actually be funny.
–Williamsburg
Scantly dressed woman with European accent to big macho American man: I want to, but I do not have Visa!
Big macho American man: I could see if I could sponsor one for you.
–Houston & Mercer
Guy on bench to friend: What did you do? You can't just eat a fish!
–Central Park North
Chick on cell: Were we attacking each other with goldfish last night?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman to friend: And on top of that, I hear she smokes like a fish!
–Columbus & 67th
Overheard by: abcnews
Girl on cell: I don't have snakeskin shoes, but I have these fish shoes I really love. Yeah, they're made out of fish scales. They're awesome.
–Penn Station
Middle-aged African American woman: I went to eat in the Bronx and she gave me naked fish.
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: the guy behind the guy
