Mother: What do you mean by “she's obsessed with him”?
Five-year-old daughter: Cause she's all like…up his butt!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother: What do you mean by “she's obsessed with him”?
Five-year-old daughter: Cause she's all like…up his butt!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Five-year-old boy to mother: It smells like penis in here!
Embarrassed mother: “Peanuts”. Honey, you mean “peanuts”.
Five-year-old boy: No. Penis! (points to his crotch)
–Duane Reade in Penn Station
Overheard by: Dawn D.
Kid #1, to kid #2 on bike: Come on, let me ride on the pegs.
Kid #2: No.
Kid #1: Fine, I’ll ride you.
–129th St, Rockaway
Overheard by: Robert
Girl #1: Oh, Yahoo Japan, I thought it said Yoohoo.
Girl #2: What’s Yahoo? Is that a place in Japan?
–Dorms, Fordham University
Overheard by: MeganB
Little boy in stall: Mmeeaahaaaaeeah!
Slightly older boy outside stall: Stop it!
Little boy in stall: Boobies!! Boobies!! Boobies!! Boobies!!
–Bathroom, Bruno, E 58th St
Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having.
Guy #1: You do such dumb shit.
Guy #2: I do not.
Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg?
Guy #2: I’m hardcore!
–1 train
Chick: Sell-out by day…
Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the bills.
–CBGBs, The Bowery
Overheard by: Sarah Royal
Drunk guy on cell: Dude, that’s crap, you gotta live hardcore!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth
Teen girl: Man this sucks. Where are all the punks?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mary
Chick: Darryl doesn’t even know what hardcore is, first off. He was all, “What, is that like some kind of porn?”.
–2nd & A
Overheard by: Kira
Punk girl: Fight bureaucracy!
Suit: You’re not the boss of me.
–Leonard between Broadway & Church
Overheard by: Lakini Malich
Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books.
–Blockbuster
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book.
–A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other?
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books.
–Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room
Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything?
–Starbucks, Woolworth Building
NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life.
–NYU Dining Hall
Three-year-old tripping as train leaves platform: Jesus Christ!
Mother: Derek! … Did you learn that from church, or from when Mommy gets mad at Daddy?
–B train
Overheard by: Mike DS
Senior girl #1: So, what is that ‘Derfer’ thing I keep seeing all those signs about?
Senior girl #2: What?
Senior girl #1: You know, Derfer — D-A-R-F-U-R
Senior girl #2: Dare-fyore? Hmmm, I don’t know.
Senior girl #1: Whatever. Anyways…
–Townsend Harris High
Little boy in stroller playing with toy car: Bomb! It’s a bomb!
Mom, wagging finger: It’s not a bomb, sweetie. Don’t say that.
Little boy: It’s a bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: We have a bomb! Play with the bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!
–Manhattan-bound 3 train
Overheard by: Jesus Jon