Wednesday Sung Liners

Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: j

Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!

–Union Square Station

Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)

–11th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Mal Sullivan

Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…

–2 Train

Overheard by: drew

Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: Jingles

Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…

–E Train

Posted on January 27, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hobos, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Music, Musicians, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Pee, Physical appearance, Prison, Queer guys, Race, Shopping, Singing, Smoking, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Words

And Tragically Bitchy.

Balding chubby man #1: Yeah, man, marriage is rough. I mean, you need to find someone who can bring something to the table.
Balding chubby man #2: Yeah…what do you mean?
Balding chubby man #1: I mean, when you hit 30 and are looking to settle down, you need to find someone who has something to offer, cause if she doesn't have something to offer, then you are in trouble.
Balding chubby man #2: Okay.
Balding chubby man #1: I mean, look at Paul McCartney, he married that lady, and they were together, what, five years? She brought nothing to the table. Then they divorced and she got 60 million dollars. Just like that!
Balding chubby man #2: Yeah, that's a lot of money.
Balding chubby man #1: I know! But I shouldn't talk bad about her…you know, cause she's crippled.

–N Train

Posted on January 27, 2015
About Celebrities, Advice, Age/Aging, Marriage, Men, Money & Class, On the Subway, Questions

The Entire Boot Is in the Closet

Old lady #1: WHAAAA? REALLY?
Old lady #2: Yep, I heard she is.
Old lady #1: Wow, I didn’t know she was that way.
Old lady #3: No! Lorraine Bracco can’t be gay, ’cause she’s Italian… like us!

–3rd Ave & Carroll St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: evilrobotmonkey

Posted on January 22, 2015
About Celebrities, Brooklyn, Gays and Lesbians, Old People

But distantly enough that scoring a Wendy’s employee is a toss-up.

Employee: That’ll be $2.79
Customer who ordered Hi-C and fries: Why wasn’t the Hi-C 99 cents?
Employee: You didn’t ask for the 99-cent one.
Customer: Well, I want the 99-cent one. I’m not Sean John… I look like Sean John… I’m related to Sean John.

–Wendy’s, 56th & 8th

Posted on January 21, 2015
About Celebrities, Customers, Restaurants & Cafes

…Even When She Chose Brandon Over Dylan?

Guy in suit #1: Damn, you know who is hot? Megan Fox. It's her attitude too. I mean, you know there is no way you could ever keep up with her.
Guy in suit #2: Bet that dude she's fucking from 90210 can't keep up.
Guy in suit #3: I was always a fan of Brenda.
Guy in suit #2: Really, I was more of Kelly.
Guy in suit #1: What the fuck?!

–86th St b/w 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: 90s Nostalgia

Posted on January 21, 2015
About Celebrities, Gossip, Insults, Sex, Suits, Upper East Side

…That's Terrorism!

Husband on airplane: I would rather beg for mercy from Saddam Hussein than from you.
Wife: He's dead, keep your insults current.
(ten minutes after)
Husband: Bin Laden, that's who I meant.
Wife: (silence)
Husband: Have a Life Saver.
Wife, annoyed: You giving me a green one?

–Flight over JFK

Overheard by: Laurie Gwen Shapiro

Posted on January 19, 2015
About Celebrities, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Death, Insults, JFK Airport, Terrorism

Tupac Propaganda Machine: Excuse Us, but He Was Assassinated

Girl #1: Didn’t Tupac kill himself?
Girl #2: Ummm, definitely not. He was shot.
Girl #1: Oh. That’s unfortunate.

–Lower East Side

Posted on January 18, 2015
About Celebrities, Death, Friends, Lower East Side, Shoot, Suicide

NYers on the Issues: Hunks

Chick: I love his mole. It’s like Matt Damon…he has a mole.

–Starbucks, W. 4th St.

Chick: I think it’s sexy that he went to art school.

Her two friends start laughing immediately.

–Jane, Soho

Overheard by: Tamika J.

Posted on January 16, 2015
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Education, Movies, Sex & Relationships, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

…To Fuck the Statuary!

Crazy old hobo, holding up bags and drawing: Where's the moon? Where's the moon? If the earth is in Columbus Circle, then the moon would be on 64th and Central Park West! Come see my exhibition!
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Is your exhibition inside those bags?
Crazy old hobo: No, those are Michelle Obama's dresses. You want to be smart with me? Why don't you be smart and become an exhibitionist?
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Do you know what “exhibitionist” means?
Crazy old hobo: Of course! It's someone who goes to museums every day!

–1 Train

Posted on January 12, 2015
About Celebrities, Clothing, Crazies, Friends, Global Geography, Hipsters, Hobos, Old People, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, Visual Art, Weirdness, Words

About Celebrities