Old lady #1: Oh, how awful! You cut your dog’s ears. How horrible! How’d you like to have your ears trimmed?
Old lady #2: I would.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Robert Hall
Old lady #1: Oh, how awful! You cut your dog’s ears. How horrible! How’d you like to have your ears trimmed?
Old lady #2: I would.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Robert Hall
Girl: I’m not going to the gym today.
Queer: Oh my god, this is like the gazillionth time you’ve cancelled. Honey, no offense, and I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but you give me no choice. You’re starting to get fat. You need to start going to the gym, like, every day or no man’s gonna wan’t you.
Girl: You gays are so fucking judgmental. Oh, and since I’m such a fat cow, you can go find someone else to help you stretch and have to deal with your sweaty balls in their face.
–Starbucks, Park Row
Girl on cell: Can you hear me when I roll my eyes?
–82nd & York
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Guy #1: I just need a few dollars to get on the train. I lost my wallet.
Guy #2: Sorry, I’m broke. I don’t have anything.
Guy #1: Everyone in this city is broke! No one wants to help anyone! They wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire!
–50th & Park
Overheard by: Ethan
Old woman: Did you hear what I said? Did you hear me?
Old man: I heard you, woman. But I can’t hear you now!
–116th & Lenox
Shopgirl: Can I help anyone with anything?
Man: Yeah, can you give me a lobotomy? ‘Cause I really need one.
Shopgirl: Sorry, no.
Man: C’mon, just bring out a sledgehammer!
–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street
Cashier girl: You have more than 10 items.
White man: Who are you? Are you the items police?
Cashier girl: You’re only allowed to have 10 items.
White man: Fine, but I have two of the same items, so does that count as one item or two?
Cashier girl: I have to call the manager.
–D’Agostino, 76th & Lexington
Overheard by: Andrew Saint John Goodwin
Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
